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SEX, MARRIAGE AND WESTERNERS
stanhootzz
11/19/2008 11:19 am

Last Read:
12/1/2008 8:17 am

Q: Why does the western fasmily breakdown but not the Indian family.

`: "First, in the west when there is no satisfaction in the sexual relationship, then both will look for another relationship. The man will secretly go to another woman and the woman will go secretly to another man. When each comes to know about the other relationship, both will suffer and then struggle to come to a compromise, trying to mend the relationship and at the end when it is not possible then they seperate.
Secondly, when they have children, there is a difference in their sexual relationship and they look for a new relationship.
In India, we do not have financial and sexual freedom and also the marriage is arranged by the parents or elders or other family members. Even though some people have all kinds of freedom, still they are afraid to choose their partners because of their culture and also their religious background. They are afraid of karma, of doing something wrong, thinking that the Divine is in everything and they offer their desires to the Divine.
Even in India there are cases where people are free, but they are not respected in society. In some cases they are not allowed in temples and in social gatherings, marriages or festival gatherings.
In western countries because of sexual freedom, people tend to live together for only some time. When their sexual life is not fulfilled, they seperate. At that moment, they do not see or realise that they are breaking up their own families and also other families. When they fall in love on an emotional level only, they do not comprehend how much they are damaging each other.
When people concentrate only fulfillment of sexual desire, nothing else (would be any superficial ideals?), then husband and wife deceive each other. Even if husband and wife live in the same house, the husband has a physical relationship with another woman and the wife has a physical relationship with another man. They neglect their children."

Anonymous

Hari Om Tat Sat
BegumMagnolia
388 posts 

11/21/2008 7:43 am

I think your view on this applies more to Americans and cannot be generalized to Westerners.

Please remember that American culture is totally different from European, Australian, and even your neighbour Canada.

Namaste


Only those with an open mind Will embrace changes in their life

RedDanceTara
728 posts 

11/21/2008 9:09 pm

Hmmmmmmmmm...

With all due respect, Stan, many of these avatars do not live in the human world with human problems.

Even the Dalai Lama throws his hands up in surrender and says he is the least qualified to advise anyone on family problems because he's a celibate monk. (Never been really sure of that argument, because being an enlightened bodhisattva, doesn't that mean he's already been through the paces in multiple lifetimes in all kinds of social and gender roles so he is? Maybe he means that the most valuable lesson he learnt is that he just shouldn't get involved in an unwinnable debate. Heh.)

Indian society is as rife with infidelity as any other. It may even be worse because there's a communal collusion/conspiracy to conceal it for the sake of 'face' or superficial propriety.

RedDanceTara
728 posts 

11/22/2008 8:16 pm

Never said I didn't believe in God or Avatars.

That would be your own human as self-appointed Avatar spokesperson assumption, dear Stan. Even if you were indeed appointed by personal decree by one of these Avatars with whom you have received darshan (entirely possible of course in your case) you couldn't not expect to be questioned for clarity.

I do take your later explanation that this quote by Amma Meera was answering a question specific to a presumably American asker.

Avatars may be various incarnated aspects of God but once descended into human form they take on at least some of the qualities of the culture they chose to be born in and naturally would be more biased towards it.

Sorry that 'your' Avatars are indeed one up on a Bodhisattva. A Bodhisattva is already enlightened and ascended and just chose to return to this plane to help out. This is not a competition, is it?

You dwell on the surface. Remaining married by name and on paper does not mean Indian society is doing any better than the rest.

And it's not because I'm imposing my 'Western' or outsider standards – my Indian women friends suffer mostly in silence at their husbands' serial philandering because the family on both the man's and woman's sides and the entire community closes ranks and tells its women to put out and shut up in so many words. And the rare women who dare to break away are vilified for it. Not the men. Indian society is crumbling from within and due for an overhaul. And it is not all because of 'Western influence and evils'. Community spirit and sense of family is all that of course if it were pure but the system has become so corrupted it is used to oppress individuals.

If you haven't lived/immersed yourself full-time with a 'traditional' extended Indian family, try it some time. So you can comment on it from the inside instead of looking at the whole of Indian civilisation from the outside through rose-coloured spectacles.

stanhootzz
1736 posts

11/24/2008 9:56 pm

Seems to have a struck a cord in you both, perhaps there lives same in you???
None of the statements above from post are mine, just happened to come across n thought interesting..........
You are correct, it is arrogant n folly fer this mind to defend any holy one, no more than God needs defending. I humbly ask yer forgiveness a thousand times a thousand for getting you...uptight, You also Magnolia.
By the way Tara, you can contact Mother Meera yer self n ask her to explain this answer. Look her up at her name n .org. Can call her in germany Fri Sat Sun and Monday from 4 to 5 pm.
It is what is........
We have come to disturb the comfertable...N bring comfort to the disturbed.Perhaps Tara, you should (people that tell me "should" do this, or "should" do that...smacks of something...mmm, perhaps you have the answer?) come n live among the native americans awhile?oh lord.........but bottom line, it "disturbed you in some way

mulrikris
617 posts

11/30/2008 11:19 am

those seeking LOVE will get love........those concentrating on LOVE-MAKING would get only that..... in india the family bond is still together rather than individual rights..its a give and take policy....nobody can be self sustained.... you always need the OTHER.... you get what you give ... that is NATURE's law.... and in the advanced countries.... the cry for individual right is more... but NOTHING holds good... the government can peep into the bed room too... isnt that the reason that india is thronged by foriegners .. in search of solace... money can buy everything... love can.....

With Love......always AND in all ways!!!!!!

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