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 | Blogs > Candygram > iCandy > Agoraphobia = Candygram |
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Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place." This is a disorder I've had since the age of 17. Well, that's when I first experienced the "weirdness". I've tried to overcome the "disorder", but it seems to come back again and again. I've never been treated for this disorder. I am able to function during times of necessity.  This is why I must find a job. I need to survive. When I have a job, I work extremely efficient. It seems that I can function when I am in a place where I feel safe. I can drive from one place to another place, but it needs to be safe. I'M SUCH A DORK FOR TELLING MY ACHILLES HILL. It shows weakness. 
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10/10/2008 1:11 am |
not at all candy just shows yer extreme honesty online....
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 10/10/2008 2:26 am |
CONVERSATION WITH AUNT LINDA I'm ready to face this fear or "disorder". Candy: I have a different weakness than the other family members... I thank your BROTHER, my MOTHER, and your FATHER for this condition! Grandma knows I have it. She doesn't know what it is called... she just thought I was shy. I didn't know what it was called until sometime in 2000. ** Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place." ** This is a disorder I've had from a young age. I fully felt it at the age of 17/18 when I lived in West Lafayette. I've tried to overcome the "disorder", but it seems to come back again and again. I've never been treated for this disorder. I am able to function during times of necessity. This is why I must find a job. I need to survive. When I have a job, I work extremely efficient. It seems that I can function when I am in a place where I feel safe. I can drive from one place to another place, but it needs to be safe. IF YOU CRITICIZE ME FOR THIS, THEN I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. I can't even get my own mother to understand what she did to me as a child that affects me so much. I don't even try anymore. Linda, I'm so messed up in the head but not in a bad way. I'm just extremely confused when it comes to love from family. I don't trust family. They have been so mean to me in the past, including YOUR FATHER. I don't like them any longer. I don't want to be around them. I'd rather die, then come back to Indiana. ----- Original Message ----- From: Linda Stair To: Candygram Sent: Saturday, October 04, 2008 7:28 PM Subject: Re: I can't come visit! Candy you don't love her if you did you would come see her. All of you grand kids are a mess for you say you love her and then in the next breath ask her for money (except you). She can't even brag about her grandkids for their either in jail, drunk or won't come around. I give up on all of you. ----- Original Message ----- From: Candygram To: Linda Stair Sent: Saturday, October 04, 2008 3:43 AM Subject: I can't come visit! I can't come to Lafayette. I'm sorry. I miss grandma. I love her so much. Candy
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10/10/2008 7:39 am |
Well every body panics about something or the other at every stage in life. For example, I panic when my bank balance goes below certain dead line, I have set. I panic, when I do not recieve my payments. I panic, when I have an unexpected cell bill. I panic, when a woman, winks at me in public. It is that many a times you are taken by surprise and you are not prepared for it. Guess I am in the same boat as you.
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10/10/2008 9:32 am |
And I got Claustrophobia Nothing big. Manageable. In case anyone criticize you, please read How to Accept Criticism With Grace and Appreciation.... VASHALAN
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10/10/2008 2:12 pm |
aww candy...it's not showing weakness, just showing your humanity. Smile and know that everyone has problems, but working past them IS possible. hope you have better days...and better nights.
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10/10/2008 6:02 pm |
Well, there is no (wo)man on earth who doesnt have a weakness. Whats wrong with sharing yours? And it doesnt make you seem weak at all. For a long time, I was a very shy and socially awkward boy(and still am i guess in some ways). So i can understand what you must go through to a little extent. Btw, did you mean your Achilles heel. P.S. - Did you go to school at purdue? I have a few friends who are graduate students in WL Life is too important to be taken seriously ~Oscar Wilde
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10/12/2008 2:41 am |
LOVE MOM! THE GOD IN ME, GREETS THE GOD IN U. THE GREAT ALMIGHTY! PLEASE KEEP MY MOM HEALTHY AND HAPPY THROUGHOUT HER LIFE. O LORD! PLEASE ALSO TRANSFER ALL HER TEARS, TENSIONS SORROWS IN MY ACCOUNT. EACH MOMENT... BE HAPPY...BE FREE... U ARE AN BELOVED DAUGHTER OF THE SAVIOUR! He is taking care of U till moment, and will take care of U till ages. The GOD in ME greets The GOD in U.
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10/12/2008 8:40 pm |
Well, there is no (wo)man on earth who doesnt have a weakness. Whats wrong with sharing yours? And it doesnt make you seem weak at all. For a long time, I was a very shy and socially awkward boy(and still am i guess in some ways). So i can understand what you must go through to a little extent. Btw, did you mean your Achilles heel. P.S. - Did you go to school at purdue? I have a few friends who are graduate students in WL  1. Yes, I went to Purdue for one year. It's a long story, but I didn't want to be at an university. I wanted to take a year off to travel and just enjoy life. I wanted to be a foreign exchange student to Europe. My "acceptance" placed me in Bogota, Colombia. 
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10/12/2008 8:46 pm |
Well every body panics about something or the other at every stage in life. For example, I panic when my bank balance goes below certain dead line, I have set. I panic, when I do not recieve my payments. I panic, when I have an unexpected cell bill. I panic, when a woman, winks at me in public. It is that many a times you are taken by surprise and you are not prepared for it. Guess I am in the same boat as you.
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10/12/2008 11:04 pm |
Your confidence is ebbing; all negative thoughts are gaining prominence in your mind. You have started recollecting your lost/subdued weaknesses and fear. These are difficult times hold the fort Sweetie with all your mental strength. Remember if you lose and go back to your native place much to the glee of your family, with you a small part of all your friends will also lose. You are in tough times but we are with you. You have all our best wishes and that is going to create the difference. Best of Luck.
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10/12/2008 11:50 pm |
Your confidence is ebbing; all negative thoughts are gaining prominence in your mind. You have started recollecting your lost/subdued weaknesses and fear. These are difficult times hold the fort Sweetie with all your mental strength. Remember if you lose and go back to your native place much to the glee of your family, with you a small part of all your friends will also lose. You are in tough times but we are with you. You have all our best wishes and that is going to create the difference. Best of Luck. Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow. 
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10/13/2008 12:33 am |
I've worked so hard to not be another US "statistic". I've never been married, heterosexual, older female (42), no children, educated, somewhat attractive... Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow. You have got enough mental strength just dig on the reserves to take you thru' this tough time.
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10/13/2008 12:48 am |
I have never kept my admiration for you a secret. Your life style is very bold and this is not the first time I said so. You have got enough mental strength just dig on the reserves to take you thru' this tough time. "You never know what you have until it is gone."
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10/13/2008 1:49 am |
Thanks. I want a freaking job so bad; I can taste it. I really want this job as a Call Center Supervisor. I don't think I was their first choice with the resume submitted, since it took them a week to get back to me. I'm severely "over qualified", but I really want to work in the Call Center atmosphere again. I miss it. "You never know what you have until it is gone." They say "if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was." Keep your mind less burdened for optimal performance. You will definitely do well. Let the interviewer also do well.
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10/13/2008 3:35 am |
I'm starting to worry about money, so I better get a job soon. I can't keep relying on roommates. My family is so weird with "loser" expectations. They are so waiting for me to fall on my face and come crawling back to Indiana. I seriously don't think that will ever happen. I'm trying my best to make sure IT NEVER HAPPENS. I'd rather be dead. VASHALAN
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10/13/2008 3:40 am |
Hi,Candy. I m touched 2 c that my friend Candy is broken.I m helpless coz unable 2 help u.I can't pray 2 God also coz I don't believe in him. But I know that u r a brave & bold lady & I m sure that happy moments 4 u would get back soon. Regards,
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10/13/2008 4:06 am |
I'm starting to worry about money, so I better get a job soon. I can't keep relying on roommates. My family is so weird with "loser" expectations. They are so waiting for me to fall on my face and come crawling back to Indiana. I seriously don't think that will ever happen. I'm trying my best to make sure IT NEVER HAPPENS. I'd rather be dead.
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10/14/2008 6:10 pm |
Hi,Candy. I m touched 2 c that my friend Candy is broken.I m helpless coz unable 2 help u.I can't pray 2 God also coz I don't believe in him. But I know that u r a brave & bold lady & I m sure that happy moments 4 u would get back soon. Regards, I found a job today. I start tomorrow morning. I can't believe how long it took for me to find a job with a Masters degree.
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