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 | Blogs > KLcharmer > KLcharmer > JOKES, INSULTS AND PUTDOWNS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH |
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New Father : My son is the splitting image of me Friend : Don't let it worry you - as long as he is healty. ---------------------------------------------- Fred : Im' Nobody's fool Dick : Why dont you get someone to hire you. ----------------------------------------------- Tom : Did you fill in the blank yet? James : Which one Tom : The one between your ears. ----------------------------------------------- A fat man laughed at his skinny friend and said, "From the looks of you, there might have been a famine". "And from the looks of you," the skinny man replied, "you might have started it." ------------------------------------------------- Son : Dad are u growing taller? Father : No, why? Son : Your head is sticking through your hair. -------------------------------------------------- Patient (on phone) : Dr I hate to bother you at 2am, but Ive got a bad case of insomnia. Doctor : What are you trying to do, start an epidemic? --------------------------------------------------- Doctor : If I say you need surgery, will you be able to afford it? Patient : If I tell you I can't afford it, will I need surgery? ---------------------------------------------------- Diner : There's a dead fly in my soup! Waiter : What do you expect me to do, Hold a funeral? ----------------------------------------------------- Boss : Mary, just because we spend a few evenings together, who told you you could come to work when you please? Mary : My lawyer ------------------------------------------------------ Husband to wife : You haven't nagged me all night, is there someone else? ------------------------------------------------------- Captain : General, the troops are revolting! General : Well captain, you're pretty repulsive yourself. ------------------------------------------------------- Man (boasting) : I'm a self made man Woman : I accept your apology -------------------------------------------------------- I don't mind you being born again. But did you have to come back as yourself? --------------------------------------------------------- Mother : Every time you misbehave, I get another grey hair Son : You must have been a terror, Just look at grandma. --------------------------------------------------------- The only thing in the antique shop that was old enough to be considered an antique was the salesman. ---------------------------------------------------------- |
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9/16/2008 11:36 pm |
 ty, KL 
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