My feelings, opinions and experiences. Please restrict your comments to the blog issue. Any comments that are not relevant to the blog will be deleted.
It has been months now since I have been contemplating if I should or should not write about my experience with men from IFF. I have finally decided that I should to let other women be aware so these men cannot cheat or lie to other women as they will be aware.
Despite the fact that I have been extremly selective and refuse to communicate with those who are not what Im seeking and those who are not in KL and would only consider those who are at least visiting KL and seeking the same, still I was not spared the liars and cheats. Its amazing how low a man would stoop to get what he wants.
During the past years, despite receiving many mails, I had only agreed to meet 2 men from IFF and this is what happened.
The first one was approximately 3 years ago, will not give his full name but goes by A. Kharey, age 54 at that time. This person contacted me and we started chatting online and he told me he was having problems with his wife who has left him to go back to her ex boyfriend. As my profile is very clear Im seeking a life partner, he assured me that he was serious and very interested and was even coming to Malaysia as he deals in furnitures which he gets from Malaysia and China etc. Little did I know that this guy was a lying cheating scumbag who has just planning to have some fun and seeking someone he could make use of during his stay in Malaysia. Of course I believed him, we met and spend lots of time together. During the time, even when he went to china and then back to indian, we communicated frequently by phone and emails and also chat. He kept telling me how his wife betrayed him and how happy he was to have met me, and that he cant wait to spend the rest of his life with me. Of course I believe him. He visited Malaysia a few more time, and we spend whatever free time together. Then after 3 or 4 visits, on the next visit, he asked me to cook for him which I did, a total of 5 dishes including delicious dry mutton which he said was his favourite. You girls will not believe what he did, he never showed up. Of course I was pissed of, he did come to malaysia but had a business appointment and was off again. He kept apologising for it, which I finally accepted and promised to meet the next time he comes with his son who is suppose to stay in Malaysia a couple of months to learn the trade. This time instead, he comes with his son and wife and claims that the wife is here to set up the apartment for the son. How rediculous. It was then that I knew this guy had been lying to me and he was never separated from his wife and neither was he getting a divorce. It was all just a lie. Although I had my doubts, I still gave him the benefit of doubt and again this time we could not meet as he was with his wife. But when he went back, he tells me that his wife has decided to come back to him, and thus the earlier decision to get a divorce has been cancelled. This guy who claimed to be a well established respectable businessman turned out to be nothing but a cheap lying cheating scumbag. I stopped communicating with him although I did give him a good piece of my mind and said what I had to.
My second experience with an IFF man was just last month. This guy again who claims to be a very high profile person and the Chairman of a so called US30million company. Yes I do know the company name and yes he did not lie about his position but he lied about everything else. Before we met, he kept sending me sms telling me that it was a privilege and honour to be my friend. I did not know who he really was or his position before we met accept that he was a businessman. It was only after we met that I came to know. He kept boasting about himself how good he is, how he loves to help people and even offered me a job in his so called branch office which they were opening in Malaysia in the near future. When we met, he also told me that, he is there for me and will be a good, true and honest friends as I had been very honest with him about all my past dissapointments with all the men in my life who were nothing but liars and cheats just wanting to make use of women. However, this time, because of my past experience, I have learnt never to give anything to a man unless he proofs his words in action. As such, this person did not get anything from me accept approximately 1 hour of my time where we just had a couple of drinks and talked where he tried so hard to convince he how good and honest and helpful he was and how he liked to help people, which of course all turned out to be a big lie. He kept convincing me that he is a good, true and honest friend and will not be like all the other men I have met. He kept telling me that he only wants to give and ask nothing in return. When I left, he again send me an sms telling me that it was a privilege and honour to be my friends.
After he went back, that was it, I never heared from him. I did send him a nasty email telling him what exactly I think of him after a month of our meeting. I suppose that he realised Im not one to get easily fooled and give anything to him without ensuring that he is sincere and really honest and a man of his word. And since he did not mean what he said about our friendship but only said it with the hope of getting something out of it, he realised he was wasting his time with all his lies.
Anyway, there was no loss to me as there are millions of pathetic losers like him around who lies with the hope of getting something.
To ladies out there, please be careful of who you communicate with and never believe anything a man tells you until he proofs it in his actions.
If any ladies out there think that you are being fooled by the same persons mentioned above and wish to confirm, you may mail me directly and I will give you all the information in order for you to ensure you are not wasting your time with such low class men who have no integrity.
And to all the men out there, it isn't your position or job that makes you what you are, its your character and no matter how high a position you hold, your are still a loser with no class and integrity if you have been lying to women and making promises which you have no intention of keeping, just to get what you want.
3 little pigs with singapore flavour in it. The meaning of some local words used as given in bracket:
Last time, got tree leetle pics. Dey all blarders but not marry yet, so cannot get hedg-de-be flat (HDB Flat which is offered to married singaporeans), so must built deir own house.
De fers blarder, a bit switch-off and like to relac, so he only wan to built simple-simple house, so he go and built one with stlaw. But den hor, when de house finis alledy, his blarders laugh at him and say, "Wapiang, stlaw house how can live? So ao one - got no standard!"
De secan blarder, hor, tink hard hard and den wan to built a more good house, so he take many, many wood and built a wooden house. He go take many piece of wood but his two blarders laugh at him and say "Walau, so kayu one - wood where can tahan (last long) de wind? Wind come and all drop alledy!"
De terd blarder like to be aiksi-borak (show off) one, so he wan to built his house make come out of blick one.
When de house finis alledy, his blarders all come and see and den dey say, "Wah, your house so nice one, you got blick you early early donch say - so ngiaow one!" De terd blarder say back, "Use your blain, use your blain! You where can be crever like me?"
De tree blarders live happy-happy after that, but den got one day, de biig ba woof come and karchau (disturb) de fers blarder. De woof say, "Leetle pic, leetle pic, open your door. If you donch open ah, I will brow your house down!"
De leetle pic very tee-kee one, so donch open de door. So de woof open his mouf big big and brow de stlaw house down.
De fers blarder den run away fast fast to his secan blarder house. When at de secan blarder house, hor, de woof also come and say, "Leetle pic, leetle pic, open your door. If you donch open ah, I will brow your house down!"
De secan blarder auso donch open de door, so de woof open his mouf big big and brow de kayu (wood) house down. De two blarders den run away fast fast to deir terd blarder house.
Now auso hor, at de terd blarder house, de woof again come and say, "Leetle pic, leetle pic, open your door. If you donch open ah, I will brow your house down!"
De terd blarder say back, "You tink you so crever you can brow my blick house down meh? You wan to brow you brow lor!"
So de woof open his mouf big big and he brow and brow but he cannot brow down. He brow and brow and den, he pengsan!(fainted)
De brave leetle pics go out and see de woof is die or not. Dey all carry de woof in, tinking dat de woof die alledy. Suddenry, de woof jum up and huntam (whack) de fers and secan blarders. De terd blarder stand one side - diam, diam (keeping quiet) ony.
You see ah, de terd blarder was a glassloot leader and dat's how he got de blicks. De woof know dis and say to de terd blarder if he donch hap him to catch his two udder blarders, de woof go and leport him to de garmen.
So wat to do? Bo-bian what! So togeder de terd leetle pic and de woof sit down to share-share eat suckling pics in de terd blarder's upgladed house.
Take a look and browse through dating sites and you will find that there are as much married men as there are singles. Yes there are also married women but not that many.
From my research, I have come to the following conclusions :-
1. Married men who are listed on dating sites are usually looking for free sex with other women. They may claim to be looking for friends but what they actually mean is friends they can have sex with without giving anything in return. Of course most single men too are looking for the same, but this topic is about married men.
2. Most married women who place their ads are usually looking for real friends they can talk too and not really for sex although sometimes it ends up with that. Of course there are a few who are looking for that as they are not satisfied with their husbands but this is very minimal.
The gist of my blog is meant for the women out there as to whether would you waste your time with a married man knowing he has nothing to offer you?
When I was much younger, I was very firm about not getting involved with a married man. Let alone a married man, I would not even get involved with a man who was attached or engaged. I had turned down many men in such situations as I always felt that I would not want to break up a relationship. Yes being young I was very emotional and could get easily carried away with sweet words even though they were lies, so I preferred to stay away from such men.
Now that Im much older and experienced and have been through alot, which have made me a much smarter and stronger person, my opinions have changed. Im not saying I would get involved with a married man but what Im saying is that I would not get involved or waste my time with a man who has nothing to offer me, whether he is married or not. However if I do decide to get involved with a married man, i would expect some gains in return since he cannot offer me a relationship. And under no circumstances would I ever ask him to leave his wife and children. In fact I would encourage him to treat his wife well. I suppose it will be a win win situation. I am taken care of and he gets what he wants without any committment. However I would never waste my time with a married man, even chatting or exchanging emails if he has nothing to offer me and wants my time for free. Now I have reached a stage in my life where I realise my time is precious and only those who deserves it and able to compensate for it gets it. My time is not free to be given to just anyone who has nothing to give in return.
A man who is married is already a minus point unless he is very successful and although married is able to at least provide some form of material gains to a woman he chooses to have fun with.
These days, most women, especially the matured experienced and intelligent onces are not that easily taken in by sweet nothings. They expect more from a man and even more if he is married and not able to give a strings attached relationship. When I say more, I mean more in terms or material gains after all the man is making use of her for sexual favours, so he has to give something in return.
Lets face facts, many men who have nothing to offer a woman but just want free sex would claim mutual satisfaction. Fact is that, while men find it difficult to get sex sometimes even from their own wifes, women have no problems getting it. All it takes is for the woman to place a profile stating she is seeking men for sex and just see the thousands of responses she would get from men who are more than happy to oblidge for free. However the same cannot be said for men, and that is why many men have to resort to seeking out escorts and paying for it. I suppose thats why male escorts especially in asian countries dont get any much clients, as why would a woman pay for something which they can get for free, the same reason a man pays for something he cannot get for free or have difficulty getting for free.
Getting back to the title of my blog, my question to women out there is, would you waste your time and spend it with a man who is married, has nothing to offer you and just want to have sex and make use of you for his own satisfaction. He is not even willing to provide an material gains nor compensation for your time. Would you be willing to waste your time with such a person and expect absolutely nothing in return?
For those women who answer, I hope you will answer how you honestly feel and not what you think others would expect you to answer. There is no reason for you to be ashamed if you feel that the saying 'no money, no honey' is accurate, as I believe after the numerous bad experiences I have had with men, that saying could not be further from the truth.
Please note that the above statements are my own opinions, you have a right to your own opinion and also that although I am speaking generally, there are always exceptions to the rule.
Would love to know how other women out there feel about this.
Can anyone tell me why some blogs dissapear for no apparent reason. Also comments are dissapearing which I have not deleted.
I noticed someone posted a comment on my blog 'WHY MEN SEND NASTY EMAIL' but before I could read it, the comments dissapeared. Also my blog on 'MY TOP 10 TURN OFFS IN MEN' also dissapeared and I have reposted it. However those who commented in the previous posting, I have not seen as someone mentioned they have posted a comment there.
Is IFF having some problems or is some jerk hacking into the system and deleting the blogs he does not like which if yes only reflects the characteristics I have mentioned in 'WHY MEN SEND NASTY EMAILS'
1. STUPIDITY 2. LIARS/MEN WHO LIE AND MAKE PROMISES THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING 3. BO/BAD PERSONAL HYGIENE 4. SWEAT 5. ARROGANCE 6. CHEAPSKATES 7. MEN WHO TREAT WOMEN BADLY 8. NO SENSE OF HUMOUR 9. MEN WHO TAKE NO PRIDE IN THEIR APPEARANCE/DRESSING 10.FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN WHEN WITH ME
Im sure many of us ladies have at some time or other received nasty emails from men. Why do they do that, we wonder especially since we said nothing to them and dont even know they exist. I have had my share of nasty emails and I have always given them back as I prefer to let such losers know that I know why they send such a mail.
Anyone who has read my profile can see that I have been extremely direct and straightforward as to what I am seeking. I have also been very clear that I am not interested in time wasters and certain kind of men who do not meet my criteria. Is it wrong for me to be clear as to what I seek in a man or a relationship. Just because I say that I will not entertain time wasters does not mean I think I am above anyone else or better than anyone else. It simply means I want the real think and do not want to waste anymore time.
However I have received a number of emails telling me that I think I am very great or very beautiful and goes on to insult me.
My conclusion as to why men send such mails is simply because they are frustrated and pissed that they cant have me simply because they do not meet my criteria and are losers as I did state Im not interested in losers who just wants to make use of a woman and give nothing in return. So I guess my direct approach hit a nerve as they know thats what they are, but yet refuse to admit it and instead choose to lash out at me. They also go on to claim that they can get someone better than me, did I ask. I dont care who you can get. In the first place I dont know who the hell you are and as long as you are not what I am seeking, I am not even interested in knowing you.
These men fail to realise that the very fact that they choose to send a nasty email to a woman is simply because they want her but cant have her. In the first place, if they were not interested in her, why even look at her profile. And if after reading the profile, they were not interested why even send an email and waste your time, even a nasty email. Do you men think that women care about stupid opinion of men who they consider as losers and fools. Yes they know you are a loser and a fool by the very fact that you choose to send a woman you dont even know a nasty email.
Another guy who send me a nasty email tells me, do you think KL is so great, its just a slum, go to mumbai and see. My reply to him was yes, KL does not have the millions of beggars on the street like mumbai has. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against india and in fact think its a great country but it does have its setback just like most other developing countries. I will never insult a person on anything whether his race, religion, country etc unless he insults me, then he gets a taste of his own medicine. The reason the guy said those things about KL was only because I stated in my profile that Im only interested in men in KL so we can meet and not interested in long distances relationship. Now what was so wrong with that.
The biggest joke of all was, this guy had his photo on his profile and sorry to say, to my eyes he was ugly and yet he had the cheek to state that he wants someone beautiful, intelligent etc and he was only an adminstrative worker, not some high profile professional or businessman that he can make such demands and yet goes out to insult me for stating my criteria.
How stupid can some men get. To all those men out there, do realise that when you send a nasty email to a woman for no reason and just because you do not meet her criteria, it only shows how low class you are, it only shows you have no integrity and definetly not a gentlemen. A gentleman is one who respects others choices just as he himself will have his criteria in choosing a partner, he will understand that others too have a right to have their criteria.
Each one of us are different and each one of us have out own criteria. While most men here are just looking to waste time and fool around and looking for freebies, there aren't many women who would be willing to give you that. Most women may be looking for genuine friends or a life partner. But when a woman states clearly that she is seeking a life partner and not interested in men seeking to fool around or men seeking friends or chat friends, learn to respect their needs. Dont make yourself look like an idiot by sending her a nasty email or sending her an email asking if you can be friends. When you do that, then you only go to the top of my list of turn offs which is showing your stupidity by asking for something which the person has clearly stated she is not interested in.
I do hope men who have been doing the above will read this and realise that they only make themself seem like a desperate fool who cant get what they want.
1. STUPIDITY 2. LIARS/MEN WHO LIE AND MAKE PROMISES THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING 3. BO/BAD PERSONAL HYGIENE 4. SWEAT 5. ARROGANCE 6. CHEAPSKATES 7. MEN WHO TREAT WOMEN BADLY 8. NO SENSE OF HUMOUR 9. MEN WHO TAKE NO PRIDE IN THEIR APPEARANCE/DRESSING 10.FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN WHEN WITH ME
In these days world of IT, the world has become much closer. However, there are many unscrupulous people who use this method to con, cheat and lie to people. Despite many scams going around, there are still some very foolish people who get cheated. Anyway as I believe that most people are aware of the scams, in this post, Im going to talk about how to identify a fake and fraud in dating sites or from emails your receive asking for friendships.
As we all know people from different parts of the world have certain words they would or would not use when communicating. For instance, a british will write in a way that is totally different from an american, australian or indian or asian. Thus its always good to pay attention to all the words and the way the mail is written to know if the person is who he claims to be or is impersonating someone else. As an example, below is a mail I received
Hi there
I just came across your add in Expatriates.com and I must that you have really presented yourself very well. I really fantasize Big Sized Women and I would like to have the opportunity to meet you in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in a few days time. I will be arriving KLIA on 15th July at 8am Malaysian Time for some company matter and it would be nice to have a company of such a lovely lady like you there. I will be staying in a five star hotel in KL for about 5 days. Oh yeah, I completely forgot to introduce myself. Well my name is Paul and I am a 42 year old English man, married with 3 lovely kids and working in Birmingham. Anyways I will attach some of my pictures for you to see and hope we both are gonna have fun there.
You can contact me here on this email as i check it thrice a day and maybe we can discuss further
Best Regards, Sid
Now you maybe wondering whats wrong with the above mail. Well the minute I read it, I knew this guy was a fraud. From the way the mail is written, its clear he is a young punk who is a local and by not means an englishman as he claims to be. Why, you may ask. The words which got my attention are in red. Those words are not used by an englishman. Englishmen would usually start with 'Hello' and not 'Hi' just as a black guy would start with 'hey babe'. Hi is usually used by asians, some americans too. Just as 'Oh yeah' again, an englishman would say 'oh yes'. Only asians and americans would use the word 'yeah'. I have met so many people from all around the world and I have never met an englishman who uses the word 'yeah'. They are usually very proud of the english language and will use proper words and not slang or americanised words. Another wrong word he used is 'gonna' again a word only used by asians, americans and africans. Everything about his mail spelt fraud.
Anyway just to see how far he goes, I replied to his mail pretending that I believed him. He then asked for my picture. He did send some fake pictures of a white man though. I refused to send him my picture and on purpose I hinted to him that I do not send pictures over the net as there are many fakes and frauds. When he knew that he was caught, he started getting abusive. Anyway about a week later, I see this same email address advertising as a male escort age 27 and a malaysian. So I was right.
There are also many blacks who impersonate whites. Usually you can detect that a person is a black/african if his email address has the word prince or he signs off as prince something or other. Also he will adress you as babe and sentences such as, 'the minute I saw your profile, I knew I had to write to you' or 'race, colour, age does not matter to me'. These are words a black/african/nigerian guy would use.
There are many ways to spot frauds and fakes on the net. However, I think this is sufficient for now. The best way of all to know is not to send your pictures to anyone over the net nor provide any details until the person has called you and spoken to you over the phone. Just because someone sends you a picture, it does not necessarily mean its his. There are many inscrupulous men and women who pick pictures from the net and sent it as theirs. Then there are also men who impersonate women with the hope that women will entertain them and share their sexual secrets with them. Before doing any such thing, always insist on the following :-
1. The person come on cam to show you who he/she really is.
2. The person call you so you can indentify him from his voice and accent whether he is is who he claims to be. If he claims to be a british but has an asian accent, then you know he is lying.
Also be careful of asians who claim to be americans or british by virtue of their citizenship. These people are smart, they would say they are american without stating of indian or chinese origin, so most people would think that when a person says american means a white guy. In actual fact an american is someone who holds an american citizenship but may not necessarilly be a white man. he could very well be a black, asian, chinese, indian etc. So again speak to him and from the accent, you should be able to tell.
The government of malaysia has been harping on Bahasa Malaysia being the national language and in pursuit of making that a reality, they have neglected the english language. As a result many malaysians especially the Malays and chinese do not speak fluent english. A local newspaper had published an article about how malaysian artist answered during interviews. It was really hilarious especially since its something that really happened. Im duplicating what I remember here to share with everyone.
1. An artist trying to sound intelligent when interviewed started with 'korek me ip I wrong' instead of 'Correct me if Im wrong'.
For those who dont know, 'korek' in malay means dig. So what he actually said was 'Dig me if Im wrong'
2. A malaysian chinese artist when asked which she thought was her best feature, with her index finger pointing to her dimples, she answered, 'my nipple lor'
3. Two malay artist overheard in the dressing room :-
1st artist - Why you take my comestic 2nd artist - Who say, I never take your comestic.
4. Interviewer to a local artist 'Are you a full time artist?'
