Baby Plane ........ Jul 31, 2009 5:22 am 1066 Views A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Jet Airways from Mumbai to Delhi. The son (who had been looking out the window turned to his mother and asked, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?” The mother, who was conservative and being a rather shy Indian lady in the matter of the bird and bees, couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?” The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?” The little boy admitted that she did. “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Jet Airways always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.” 6 Comments

Rach Rach Rach :* Jul 6, 2009 10:40 pm 1274 Views HAPPY BIRTHDAY 8 Comments

ONLY COPY IF YOU CAN PASTE IT.... Jul 4, 2009 10:41 pm 1304 Views A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....and I can't remember who she was!" By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.. Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste! 11 Comments

Wife~ North/South Jun 30, 2009 7:24 pm 1159 Views Wives from North: 1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age. 2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her. 3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry. 4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder. 5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill. 6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair. 7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself. 8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her. 9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south India until she met you. 10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "Walk out" 11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town. 12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you" 13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson. Wives from South: 1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras or Anna University . 2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..." 3. She shudders if you use four letter words. 4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.) 5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative. 6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower. 7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra) 8. When she mixes milk - curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself. 9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet. 10. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive. 11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth. 12. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation') 13. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie. 14. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on. 15. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it. 16. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers. 17. She is more educated than you. 18. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you. COPY PASTED JUT FOR LAUGH 7 Comments

Cannot express by words!! Apr 13, 2009 9:44 pm Mood: beautiful, 1376 Views The best birthday i had here on IFF Lobby. I will never forget my this birthday. Thank you all my friends I love you All Special Thanks to ISABELLA JAYGEE EHSAAS BALAMANI Akruti And Very Special Thanks to VOLCANO 15 Comments

How the fight started....... Feb 16, 2009 7:15 pm Mood: amused, 1360 Views When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.. And then the fight started... ************************************************************************************* My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ************************************************************************************* I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Naaah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... ************************************************************************************* A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... . ************************************************************************************* I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.... ************************************************************************************* When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.' And then the fight started... ****************************************************************************** My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ************************************************************************************* My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a weighing scale. And then the fight started... ************************************************************************************* 5 Comments

The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008 !! Jan 16, 2009 7:47 pm 1343 Views SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.' SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.' SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.' SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008 !! A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's good.' 3 Comments

INDIAN??? Oct 25, 2008 8:37 pm Mood: crushed, 1494 Views Dear All, Request you to read this message if you are true Indian.......... Below is the Indian future if we follow Raj Thackeray!!! 1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school 2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in delhi 3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi 4. No Hindi movie should be made in Mumbai. Only marathi movies. 5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men 6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals 7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in Maharashtra as they belong to north (Himalayas) 8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only 9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra? 10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community.. 11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra, why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world 12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi 13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states 14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside 15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari 16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharasthra, then they will become true Marathis Please understand and help India by educating India through this message........... If we don't want another pakistan......... 3 Comments

Hehehehe Jul 27, 2008 10:39 pm 2403 Views 14 Comments

He Visited My Home Jun 3, 2008 10:08 pm 2986 Views They say he is a famous Movie star of Kollywood(Tamil Cinema). Ajith 19 Comments

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