Laugther, The Best Medicine Sep 20, 2007 5:15 pm 984 Views 1. A window salesman phoned a customer "Hello, Mr. Brown," he said, "lm calling becuz our company repalced all the windows in your house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago and you still haven't sent us a payment" the customer replied, ""But you said they'd pay for themselves in 12 months" 2. While on vacation in Louisianna, a young blonde wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. "I'II just catch my own alligator," she told one shoeshopkeeper," so l can get a pair of shoes for free," she stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in, She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes, The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggles to haul the carcus into an embankment where serveral other dead alligator were lined up "OH. NO!" the blonde shouted in dismay ,"THIS ONE ISNT WAERING ANY SHOES EITHER!",,,, 3. Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wifeyyy, After the exam the physician motioned for the wifeyy to meet him in the hallway, "Your husbad's very sick," the doctor said. "But there are three things you can do to ensure his survival, First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day, Next, give him a stress=free environment and dont complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day" "Going home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say? "I'm sorry," she said, "But you're not going to make it." ENJOY g 4 Comments

You Know You"re A Stoner When,,,,,,,, Sep 10, 2007 6:37 pm 1618 Views :: Every story you tell begins with,"We were really high and,,," Someone asks you for a dime and you tell you're out of herb. Your video collection consists of endless CHEECH and CHONG movies You clean out your car and smoke you found on your car mats. Your breakfast is a spliff, OJ, and a bowl packed with fruity pebbles, You eat everything in the kitchen but spam,,,then you eat the spam Every vaction you wind up in asterdam ot jamica. you"re knowns as "smoking" to your friends. you want to have kids named herb, Bud, Maryjane. someone finds a roach in your room and it not a bad thing. You hang out with people you dont like, just becuz they got buds, If your life wus made into a movie, It would be called " waiting to be inhale", All you want to do is drink % smoke & eat & smoke & chill & smoke,,,, You think everyone is starting at you when nobody'S around. Yopur best friend just happened to be your dealer. Your bumper sticker reads " Honk for hemp" Your bong becomes an extension of your arm. The high Times centerfold turns you on. Your alarm is set for 4.20am and pm You wake up bake. :: 14 Comments

(you want to ) make a memory Sep 9, 2007 1:32 pm 1076 Views Hello agian its you and me, kinda alway's like it used to be, slippin' wine,killin time, trying to solve life's mysteries, How's your life? it"s been a while, god it"s good to see you smile, l see you reaching for your keys, looking for a reason not to leave, if you dont know if you should stay , If you dont stay whats on your mind, baby just breath, thers no where ealse tonite we should be, you want to make a memory, l dug up this old PHOTOGRAPH, looking at all that hair we had, It's bittersweet to hear your laugh, Your phone is ringing l don"t want to ask, If you go now I.II understand, If you stay, Hey l got a plan, You want to make a memory, You want to steal a piece of time, You can sing a melody to me, And l could write a coupla lines, You want to make a memory,,, If you dont know if you should stay, And you dont say whats on your mind, baby just breath,, There's no where else tonite we be,we should be, You want to make a memory,, You wan to steal a piece of time,, You can sing the melody to me,, And l could write a coupla lines,,You want to make a memeory,,,,,You want to make a memory,,, bonjovi g 1 comment

10 Things Sep 4, 2007 8:25 pm 1093 Views 10 things Your Plumber won"t Tell You 1. There's an old plumber's adage: An ounce of pervention could cost me 5k" 2. Im not really a plumber" 3. My less experienced underling will be over in a minute" 4. I don't do cleanup" 5. With a truck this size, you'd think I'd be well stocked, Think again" 6. This looked so much easier in the diagram" 7. Emergency? You're tehth in line" 8. Move your sink? Let not and say we did" 9. Job's all done , and you"re good to go-theoretically speaking" 10. I could've walked you through this repair over the phone, but, hey, there's no money in free advice" hey dont forget the plumer butts (_!_) LADIES awwwwwww g 2 Comments

''OBITUARY'' Aug 28, 2007 4:27 pm 1290 Views ok Friends Lets laugh Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community: The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities came to pay thier repects, including Mrs.Butterworth,Hungry Jack, the Califorinia Rasins, Betty Crocker and her new finace, the Jolly Green Giant, the Hostess Twinkies, The Trix Rabbit and messrs,Snap, Crackle, and Pop, It was a deliciouly warm surprise to have Captain Crunch attend from his buzy schedule, Lovely Cocoa Pebbles arrived late with her parents, Wilma and Fred Flinstone, Josephine the plumber and Mr. Whipple cut short thier honeymoon to attend the servies, The gravesite was pile high with flour. Aunt Jermina delivered the eulogy and lovingly describe Dough boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers, He was not considered a very ''SMART'' cookie, wasting most of his dough on half baked schemes, Despite being a little flaky at times , he still , as a crusty old man, was considered a sweet roll model for millions of his admirers, Captian Crunch told the gathering that Doughboy had suffered many years in insufferable agony every time he was poked, but he always gave a gigle to the delight of the audience; althought in recent years the giggle wasn't as hadry. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun presided over the burial, after a few prayers, which inculded, Have a Nigal,Peel me a Grape and one Potatoe two Potatoe, Elmer Fudd sang a heart-wrenching version of Mr Muffin Man. The sun was shining throughtout the service nicely warming the coffin so that when the icing was poured on as final gesture, it melted all over with glistening glow. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, his son John Dough and Daugther, Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The service began at 3.50 and was over just as the timer bell rang 20 minutes later ok friends this was giving to me from a friend, awwwwww plz laugh made me smile and some enjoyy g 10 Comments

Focus on What You Have Aug 26, 2007 9:51 pm 1242 Views I had to accept that it was either that way or no way at all, I cant see any reason to spend your time frustrated,Angry, or upset abt things you don't have or you can't have or you can't yet do, i drill this into well my girl when l hear her say, I don't have this,I'll say Don't focus on wht you don't have, Focus on wht you do have and be grateful for it, Be proud of wht you can do, Those things you can't do yet, maybe you will do" When we are jealous of others who have gifts and talents that we dont , we get nowhere, God never asks us to become something that we aren't , all he asks is that we use the gift He' given to us to the best of our abitly. enjoy my friends someday we meet agian allways at heart byeeee g 13 Comments

To My Dear Friend ( Kelly) :Q :) Aug 25, 2007 12:28 am 1437 Views Your Friendship is the treasure in my life There are treasures in one"s life that cannot be seen, cannot be touched, are impossible to measure or estimate thier value.... They cannot be bought, yet are given for free, These precious gifts have been given to me and have made a difference in my life throught the friend l've found in you. Understanding- of all our different ways, Honesty- about what you think and feel. Laughter- at times we shared, stoned Patience- with my changing moods Your friendship is among the treasures of my life- growning as we grow, (plants) j/k changing for the better, yet remaining a steady part of my days,, well kelly, l try not to add smiley here but how can l miss this chance hats off to you my dear gal friend, : anit got no hat but oh well guys help out , got hats did l ask wrong here if so (((((OPPS))))) g 14 Comments

What Would Feel Good to You? Aug 24, 2007 4:02 pm 1214 Views The possibities for joy are limitless if we can do what feels good to us--in work, in life, inlove, inplay, Learn to become comfortable with joy. You have the power to create joy by choosing what feels good to you. The time for joy isn't later. Time for joy is now g 5 Comments

Brothers and Sisters Aug 23, 2007 7:23 pm 1317 Views These words are a prayer of hope for new path to wisdom and power, Anguished hearts, minds, and bodies are the profound reality of our world. We have lost our way and the voices of our ancestors go unheeded. This is our ordeal. There are those who remember wht has had meaning since time began but we are deaf to thier wisdom. Why do we not hear them? suffering; the dragons of discord, Wipe the tears from your eyes Open your ears to the truth Prepare to speak in the voice of your ancestors, This is a discourge of condolence. A prayer of hope for a new path. dal tx for sharing me this so l can pass it too my friends here, g 12 Comments

Today is International Very Good Looking Dam Smart Women"s Day Aug 19, 2007 3:57 pm 1504 Views To all Girls Hats Off,,,,,, inside every older person is younger person--woundering wht the hell happened,, inside me lives a skinny women crying to get out,But l can ually shut her up with cookies The heardest years in life are those between ten n sevety i refuse to think of them as chin hairs l think of them as stray eyebrows things are going to get alot worse before the get worse,, old age aint no place for sisters a man"s got to do wht a man"s got to do,,A women must do wht he can"t ,,,,, every time l close the door on reality it comes in through the windows wht women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good behind every successful man is surpirised Women,, in politics, If you want anything said,,ask a man,,,If you want anything done ask a Women lm a marvelous housekeeper every time l leave a man,,l keep his house S,Dhar thanks for sharing g 17 Comments

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