All That You Can't Leave Behind Nov 15, 2009 10:07 pm 169 Views You were so earnest in your sincerity this morning .. and I now understand why it's taken you so long. I'm trying to push for it - and you want it to mean something. And why (just because you're leaving my life for a short while) .. should you be forced to say something, just for the sake of saying it? I understand that you want it to come from the heart - and you want it to be when you're ready - and it's going to mean so much more when I can look into your eyes and know that yeah - this guy isn't just giving lip service. And yes .. you are definitely showing it through your actions - and I'm picking up on the signals. You give me things - even when I don't ask for them. You have taken care of me when I was sick. You've done things that you know I like - just because you know I like them. In fact everything you've done up until now has been with the intention of making me happy. You are great with my kids .. you take an interest in my life .. you ask me what I want and you do your level best to make that happen. And this weekend was no different. The time spent with you was awesome and inspiring - and when you left my house this morning to go dirt biking in the country - I could see it in your eyes .. again. It's always been there in the way you look at me .. the way you touch me and pull me close at night. I can feel the love as I lay close in your arms .. and I fall asleep with you kissing my hair - and it's so close to the surface it might as well be written on your forehead. But I know your past and I know the damage that's been done .. and the greatest gift you could give me - the most definitive way you could show you love me .. is by returning from India next year and being a part of my life again. You give me hope for the future and I'm no longer doubtful that when you have achieved the closure you seek .. you will be coming home re-energized and ready .. to start a brand new life with me. And love is not the easy thing The only baggage that you can bring Not the easy thing The only baggage you can bring Is all that you can't leave behind And if the darkness is to keep us apart And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off And if your glass heart should crack And for a second you turn back Oh no - be strong Walk on - walk on What you got, they can't steal it No, they can't even feel it Walk on - walk on Stay safe tonight You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been A place that has to be believed to be seen You could have flown away A singing bird in an open cage Who will only fly - only fly for freedom Walk on - walk on What you got, they can't deny it Can't sell it or buy it Walk on - walk on You stay safe tonight And I know it aches How your heart it breaks You can only take so much Walk on - walk on Home - hard to know what it is if you never had one Home - I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going Home - that's where the hurt is And I know it aches And your heart it breaks You can only take so much Walk on Leave it behind You've got to leave it behind All that you fashion - all that you make All that you build - all that you break All that you measure - all that you feel All this you can leave behind All that you reason - it's only time Love in a fever - no, not mine All that you sense - all that you scheme All you dress up - all that you seem All you create U2 Walk On 8 Comments

November Rain Nov 8, 2009 9:37 am 488 Views Someone once said that if two people are meant to be .. they will be. Actually I think that was me, and the words went something like this ....... "If the love is deep and abiding nothing can extinguish the flame .. not time, not distance and most certainly not the absence of that one special person from our lives. If what we feel is truly love then it will always burn within our hearts .. and when two lovers reunite it doesn't take much for that one little spark to turn into a flame." At the time I had written it for someone else, but the words still retain their meaning - even now. The weekend was long, and yet the time with you just seemed to fly. I think my favorite part was the afternoon - both of us so tired from the last few days that we fell asleep in each others arms on your sofa. I remember how the November sun shone in through the patio doors, bathing us both in a soft, warm blanket .. and as we slept the beating of your heart kept time to the music on the stereo. I remember very little of my dreams .. except that they were chaotic. Dreams of India, and you, and trying to reach out and just touch your hand - but losing you to the distance. There was a pain, a sadness that swept over us both - painting my heart in watercolor blue. I woke up and my tears were on your chest. I wanted to whisper to you, don't go .. don't leave me alone .. please, not again. But we both know it was never your choice. I've promised you I will wait .. for as long as it takes - because you are worth it in so many ways. My love can only get deeper because of the closeness we've shared. And someday I know you will return from India .. and there will be more for me to hold than just your pillow. Time, is going by so much faster than I And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside So I'm starting to regret not selling all of it to you So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know You're never gonna be alone From this moment on If you ever feel like letting go I won't let you fall You're never gonna be alone I'll hold you till the hurt is gone And now, as long as I can I'm holding on with both hands 'Cause forever I believe That there's nothing I could need but you So if I haven't yet I've gotta let you know You're never gonna be alone From this moment on If you ever feel like letting go I won't let you fall When all hope is gone I know that you can carry on We're gonna take the world on I'll hold you till the hurt is gone Oh, you gotta live every single day Like it's the only one What if tomorrow never comes? Don't let it slip away Could be our only one You know it's only just begun Every single day May be our only one What if tomorrow never comes? Tomorow never comes Time is going by so much faster than I And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you You're never gonna be alone From this moment on If you ever feel like letting go I won't let you fall When all hope is gone I know that you can carry on We're gonna take the world on I'll hold you till the hurt is gone I'm gonna be there always I won't be missing one more day I'm gonna be there always I won't be missing one more day Nickleback Never Gonna Be Alone 19 Comments

From all the Demons at the Freakers Ball Oct 28, 2009 6:16 pm 769 Views "Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright." - The Wolf Man, 1941 The fortune Queen of New Orleans Was brushing her cat in her black limousine On the backseat were scratches from The marks of men her fortune she had won Couldn't see through the tinted glass, She said "Home James" and he hit the gas I followed her to some darkened room She took my money, she said I'll be with you soon Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done Dark Lady played black magic till the clock struck on the twelve She told me more about me then I knew myself She dealt two cards, a Queen and a Three And mumbled some words that were so strange to me And then she turned up a Two-Eyed Jack My eyes saw red but the card still stayed black She said the man you love is secretly true To someone else who is very close to you My advice is that you leave this place Never come back and forget you ever saw my face Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done Dark Lady played black magic till the clock struck on the twelve She told me more about me then I knew myself So I ran home and crawled in my bed, I couldn't sleep because of all the things she said Then I remembered her strange perfume And how I smelled it was in my own room! So I sneaked back and caught her with my man Laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand The next thing I knew they were dead on the floor Dark Lady would never turn a card up anymore Dark Lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done Dark Lady played black magic till the clock struck on the twelve She told me more about me than I knew myself Cher Dark Lady 7 Comments

Always, Somewhere Oct 25, 2009 7:43 am 1090 Views For the first time I'm realizing .. that love really can feel good. And that if you wait long enough - eventually you find the one who was made just for you. For the first time I'm realizing - that it's ok to give with the expectation that the other person will give something back. For the first time I'm realizing .. that a love returned in equal measure is something worth holding out for. Everyone deserves to be the center of someone else's world, and not just an after thought. For the first time I'm realizing .. that the potential I see in you is infinite. Long lasting and forever are not just words with empty meaning. Not anymore. And for the first time I'm realizing .. that finding you was not an accident. I'm falling in love and for the first time .. I'm no longer scared. "Mein aapko zindagee bhar pyaar karthi rahungi" Mr. P! You have proven yourself deserving of these words in more ways than one. Arrive at seven the place feels good No time to call you today Encores till eleven then chinese food Back to the hotel again I call your number the line aint free I like to tell you come to me A night without you seems like a lost dream Love I can't tell you how I feel Always, somewhere Miss you where I've been I'll be back to love you again Always, somewhere Miss you where I've been I'll be back to love you again Another morning, another place The only day off is far away But every city has seen me in the end And brings me to you again Always, somewhere Miss you where I've been I'll be back to love you again Always, somewhere Miss you where I've been I'll be back to love you again Scorpions Always, Somewhere 29 Comments

Two Is Better Than One Oct 7, 2009 6:36 pm 1502 Views And once again my romantic side shines through. Today has been crazy. Nervous, excited .. longing for the night to arrive. And when it does .. and we dance - and you pull me close in your arms, I want this to be the music we hear .. the music of our hearts. Looking forward with anticipation. Chalo kya nache Mr. P .. I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something" Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing So maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing That maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought, "Hey," Maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking Oooooh I can't live without you Cause, baby, two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life But I'll figure it out When all is said and done Two is better than one Two is better than one Boys Like Girls Two Is Better Than One 30 Comments

Indian Summer Sep 24, 2009 8:27 pm 1428 Views Sometimes the weather is just too good to waste. Such was the case these past 2 days when the mercury hovered around 32 degrees. It felt like the middle of July .. and yet July was actually cold this year. Come to think of it .. so was May, June .. and to an extent the first part of August. I think in Alberta summer is really late August thru October. I always take my holidays towards the end of August and so far have never been disappointed with the weather. This year I was on vacation from August 17-September 1st and every single day was beautiful. Not one day did it rain and not one day was the temperature below 25 degrees. I've been distracted with the colors and the warmth and I just want to memorize it all before Winter sets in and it's gone for another year. I want to keep it safe .. locked away in my mind so that when it's -50 in the dead of winter - I can bring it out and instantly feel the warmth and beauty of this remarkable season. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share it with. Somebody to go walking with me and play like children in the Autumn leaves. Somebody to bring home afterwards when the evening shadows begin to lengthen and the harvest moon appears in the sky. Somebody to cuddle with and laugh with and feel safe knowing that no matter what happens .. I'll never be alone. I would like to think there's still time for me to find that. But then again - I've grown to be very cynical. I was talking to a good friend the other day. A friend I had lost touch with for a short while but then recently rediscovered thru Facebook. She was telling me what a difficult time these last few months had been for her. Painful endings and beautiful beginnings. Growing, stretching .. learning. Opening up to let God's will and divine providence work in her life. Before long she asked me if it was possible to find closure where none existed .. and if love was something we left behind - or took with us when we died. Tough questions to answer when your own life is touch and go, flying on a wing and a prayer. But I reached deep down, found my faith - and I told her yes. Closure can be found even in the darkest of places. Just ask God to be in the situation - and then ask Him to resolve it as it is meant to be resolved. From there .. ask Him to direct the right people to you - and then trust that the path will open. So often I think that we nudge circumstances by our attitudes and expectations .. so keep an open mind and allow life to unfold as it was meant to. Wise advice once given to me .. on a day when I too had reached my lowest point. As for Love .. well .. love is energy. And energy as we all know can never die. It just takes on other forms. And a love that is pure and strong and unconditional .. like the love that led me into the "light" and turned my world upside down ... love like that can never die. To quote Patrick Swayze in the now infamous movie "Ghost" .. "It's amazing Molly. The love inside, you take it with you." So with that in mind - whatever God has planned for me, whatever life has in store .. one thing is for certain. When the days become cold with no end in sight .. I will never forget the glorious warmth and color of this .. my Indian summer. You may not believe it But I don't believe in miracles anymore And when I think about it I don't believe I ever did for sure All the things I've said in songs All the purple prose you bought from me Reality's just black and white The sentimental things I'd write Never meant that much to me I used to be the main express All steam and whistles heading west Picking up my pain from door to door Riding on the storyline, furnace burning overtime But this train don't stop, this train don't stop This train don't stop there anymore You don't need to hear it But I'm dried up and sick to death of love And if you need to know it I never really understood that stuff All the stars and bleeding hearts All the tears that welled up in my eyes Never meant a thing to me Read 'em as they say and weep I never felt enough to cry I used to be the main express All steam and whistles heading west Picking up my pain from door to door Riding on the storyline, furnace burning overtime But this train don't stop, this train don't stop This train don't stop there anymore When I say that I don't care It really means my engine's breaking down The chisel chips my heart again The granite cracks beneath my skin I crumble into pieces on the ground I used to be the main express All steam and whistles heading west Picking up my pain from door to door Riding on the storyline, furnace burning overtime But this train don't stop, this train don't stop This train don't stop there anymore But this train don't stop, this train don't stop This train don't stop there anymore Oh Yeah Elton John This Train Don't Stop There Anymore 10 Comments

If Things Never Changed There Would Be No Butterflies Sep 16, 2009 9:00 pm 1780 Views "True love is when you have to watch a friend leave, with the knowledge that you might never see him again. But you know he'll be in your mind and heart forever." Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye Even with our fists held high It never would've worked out right We were never meant for do or die I didn't want us to burn out I didn't come here to hold you now I can't stop I want you to know That it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another That doesn't always make you want to cry Started with a perfect kiss then We could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go I want you to know That it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone I'm already gone Already gone You can't make it feel right When you know that it's wrong I'm already gone Already gone There's no moving on So I'm already gone Already gone, already gone Already gone Already gone, already gone Already gone Yeah Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye I want you to know That it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone I'm already gone I'm already gone You can't make it feel right When you know that it's wrong I'm already gone I'm already gone There's no moving on So I'm already gone Kelly Clarkson Already Gone 2 Comments

Rain Sep 13, 2009 8:53 am 2193 Views “An angel in disguise she was, but somehow you fell for her. Until she broke your heart that day, and left you in the rain. But still I love you.” Rain, feel it on my fingertips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like Rain, wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain When your lips are burning mine And you take the time to tell me how you feel When you listen to my words And I know you've heard, I know it's real Rain is what this thunder brings For the first time I can hear my heart sing Call me a fool but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top Till I feel your Rain, feel it on my fingertips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like Rain, wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain When you looked into my eyes And you said goodbye could you see my tears When I turned the other way Did you hear me say I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky You promised me when you said goodbye That you'd return when the storm was done And now I'll wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun Till I feel your Rain, feel it on my fingertips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like Rain, wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say, never go away Waiting is the hardest thing (It's strange, I feel like I've known you before) I tell myself that if I believe in you (And I want to understand you) In the dream of you (More and more) With all my heart and all my soul (When I'm with you) That by sheer force of will (I feel like a magical child) I will raise you from the ground (Everything strange) And without a sound you'll appear (Everything wild) And surrender to me, to love Rain is what the thunder brings For the first time I can hear my heart sing Call me a fool but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top Till I feel your Rain, I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like Your love's coming down like Rain, feel it on my fingertips Hear it on my window pane Your love's coming down like Rain, wash away my sorrow Take away my pain Your love's coming down like rain Rain I feel it, it's coming Your love's coming down like Your love's coming down like Rain Madonna Rain 27 Comments

Eighth World Wonder Aug 30, 2009 8:40 am 2368 Views Dedicated .. To the one who makes my heart sing. Thank you for making the nights so sweet. You saved me in more ways than you will ever know. I've finally moved on. Woke up early this morning Made my coffee like I always do Then it hit me from nowhere Everything I feel about me and you The way you kiss me crazy Baby you're so amazing Seven days and seven nights of thunder The waters rising and I'm slipping under I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder I guess that I'm just falling Deeper into something I've never known But the way that I'm feeling Makes me realize that it can't be wrong Your loves like a summer rain Washing my doubts away Seven days and seven nights of thunder The waters rising and I'm slipping under I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder It's only been a week But it's coming over me It's making me believe that You're the one for me Seven days and seven nights of thunder The waters rising and I'm slipping under I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder Seven days and seven nights of thunder The waters rising and I'm slipping under I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder Kimberly Locke Eighth World Wonder 18 Comments

All Quiet On The Western Front Aug 27, 2009 1:30 pm 2294 Views "I'm lying alone, with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts. I know you hurt too, but what else can we do? Tormented and torn apart ...." Flash back to some vintage Air Supply. No reason really - just the kinda mood I'm in today. The song finished. Blah. Who ever said life is like a bowl of cherries? .. or a box of chocolates? .. or a boat? .. or a bitch? .. or yes, even an STD? Don't blame me for that last one .. you'd be surprised at the interpretations you can find on the net if you really try. To me .. life is like a tight slap across the face. A swift punch to the gut. A proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing. A bet you can never win. As my childhood friend Charlie Brown once said (and I'd have to agree) .. "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." And if life is so blatantly obvious .. then why do we always seem to miss the punch line? I've been asking myself that same question for years ... and the only definitive answer I can come up with is .. there is no answer. File this one under rhetorical. Next! 12 Comments

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