Words!!! you need them from me? Better the words be few. Better the heart be so wide and deep. Better try seeing eachother. Be the mirror to eachother.
Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me.
He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour. So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years!
So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!" That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Fucking Son of a Bitch!!
Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable. Father (F) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!
S : Why do women enjoy s-e-x more than man F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.
S: Why do women hate it when they get raped . F: It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??
S: Why woman cannot have s-e-x when they are having mens-truation? F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ??
S: Why man do not like to wear con_doms when they are making love. F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
S: Why are making love carried out in private? F: Will you dig you nose in front of your class? Stupid!
S: What is an or_gasm ? F:The same as sneezing. but the the other way round
S: Is it true that women love big di_cks ? F: Ever tried picking your nose with your thumb ?
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"
Beans, beans, are good for your heart, The more you eat, the more you fart, The more you fart, the better you feel, So eat your beans at every meal.
Beans, beans, the musical fruit, The more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the more you smell So choke on them, and fart in hell
Fart, Fart the beans are calling, must be the ones i ate this morning, went to the bog and missed the pan by a mile, sorry mum i didn't mean it, here's a mop now go and clean it, that's what you get for eating heinz baked beans!!
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?". "You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
