Words!!! you need them from me? Better the words be few. Better the heart be so wide and deep. Better try seeing eachother. Be the mirror to eachother.
The maid in a stately home wants a salary increase. Her ladyship was very upset and asked, sarcastically: "Now Princess, why do you want an increase?"
Maid: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase.The first is that I iron better than you."
Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maid: "The master did." :d :d :d Madam: "Oh"--bit irritated.
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Madam: "Nonsense! Who said you were a better cook than I?" Maid: "The master did." :d :d :d Madam: "Oh"----decidedly put off now.
Maid: "My third reason is that I make better love than you do." Madam (Very upset now): "NO, don't tell me the master told you THAT, too, you wretch?!! Princess: "No madam, he didn't; the gardener did. "
The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved. It's in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he's trying to love.
The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It's seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice. It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks. It's in how he keeps his word.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits. It's in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It's in the burdens he can carry.
The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest. It's in his heart that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love. It's in the understanding that there is more way to making love, than just making love for fun himself
FISHERMAN Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article.One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife.
MATHEMATICIAN Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
CAR DEALER Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.
PILOT Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
BANKER Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
ACCOUNTANT Required a girl - 5'8' 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible.
DOCTOR I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
ASTRONAUT I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he gone. A few days later, he received this report:
MOST HONORABLE SIR :
YOU LEAVE HOUSE I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE . HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE. I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE. I NOT SEE. NO FEE,
Two friends were talking about another cohort at club. The first said, "Do you know that yesterday Mahin finished his round of Golf late in the afternoon, went home, found his wife in bed with another man and shot that man to death."
The second friend said, "Oh my God, million thanks to you, if Mahin came earlier at home he would have shot me."
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- 'You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
: 
SHE KISS HE 
