While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.
1. Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, \bsexo?\b, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.
2. Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.
3. See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
4. Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Echo and Narcissus, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
5. Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
6. Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love
TIPS:
1.Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
2. To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.
3. Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
4. Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
5. Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships?
6. A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear.
7. Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings.
8. Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately.
Warnings!!
If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?
The day I met you, I knew in my heart we would have a lover's night. I knew that day would come when a kiss from your lips would make me feel alive again.
The day when are hands gently brushed up against each other, the day you gently glided your hand down my neck to feel the sensation of my sweat to your body, I knew we were on our way to our destiny of a lover's night.
I remember the magical moment when we were scared of how right it was to be desirable to each other's needs and actually act upon our desires for a lover's night.
It was a night I will cherish for the rest of my life. For I see the natural feeling of a man and woman making love. The kindness, the meaning of love, and the best feeling all over our bodies. I feel like I am in heaven and I need to awake from a dream. I will forever cherish our lover nights.
Here I am waiting for you, to come home and make love to me. I lay awake for hours, anticipating your touch Our bodies entwined all night through, Reaching the highest height of ecstasy.
You my love know just what to do, To place that smile upon my face. Nice hands ready to receive me, Thirsty for that kiss, that taste that is only you.
Wanting you so bad makes it hard to wait so I close my sleepy eyes. Tonight lets make love under the moon, While our love travels thru space.
I know you like it nice and slow, Our bodies moving like waves in the ocean. Like fireworks putting on a magical show, We'll ravish each exciting moment, until we feel the final explosion.
In my dreams you are there loving me through the night
When I awake, I can smell you Your scent surrounding me Your indentation in my bed as though we were truly intertwined.
I have a date at a quarter till nine. He on his computer and me on mine. We will sit for hours typing the night away. Saying all the romantic things we want to say. Then end the night with a cyber kiss. Wrapped in a feeling of total bliss. And waiting until we will be together again. Me, my computer and my cyber friend.
