Laloo's Driver Nov 5, 2009 6:15 pm 41 Views One day Laloo was traveling by car. He was going to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident. At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said, "Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon. Usko dhundke lav". At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!! Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye, aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?" At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident. Hearing it they were rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money." Laloo then asked him "Aap unko egjactly kaa bole?" The driver replied : "Main bola, MAIN Laloo Prasad Yadav KA DRIVER HOON, MAINE SUAAR KE BACHHE KO MAR DALA HAI.........." 1 comment

letter to krishna...! Nov 5, 2009 6:11 pm 36 Views Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. Mom, I want a bike for my birthday. Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year. Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to Krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday. Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write Krishna a letter. ************** Letter 1 Dear Krishna, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Bobby ************** Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, So he tore up the letter and started over. ************** Letter 2 Dear Krishna, This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like A red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend, Bobby ************** Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again. ************** Letter 3 Dear Krishna, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Bobby ************** Bobby knew he could not send this letter to Krishna either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter. ************** Letter 4 Krishna, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you, Bobby ************** Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to temple. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner. Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the radha. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to Krishna. ************** Letter 5 Krishna, I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!! 0 Comments

Jap PM Eng Skills Nov 5, 2009 6:04 pm 38 Views This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!! A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visited Washington and meets president Barack Obama... The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'. Mr. Obama would say, 'I am fine, and you?' Then, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.' It looks quite simple, but the truth is... When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.) Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...' Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'. Then there was a long silence in the meeting room. 0 Comments

The New English Nov 5, 2009 6:02 pm 40 Views For all of you English teachers. Hear is something for laughs or shall we say lafs. European English: The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" . In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl . 0 Comments

Lucky Dog Nov 5, 2009 5:57 pm 36 Views Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky.' Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing. Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box. It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in fact; she was just sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won't understand that I didn't want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death. The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable. Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap. Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed. When Mary woke for a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life. He had covered her with his love. Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky - He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure. Remember......live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing. And never forget....the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most Credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us. 0 Comments

Husband Installation Nov 4, 2009 6:36 pm 51 Views A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy, Dear Tech Support , Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5..0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate Woman ****************************************************************************************************************** DEAR DESPERATE Madam, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: i thought you loved me..html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7. Good Luck Madam! 0 Comments

Strange Mind Nov 4, 2009 6:33 pm 47 Views fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! 0 Comments

Why I Like Retirement ! Nov 4, 2009 6:30 pm 56 Views Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he or she falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal . Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. My favorite one: QUESTION: What do you do all week? Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest! 1 comment

Marriage Under Income Tax Act Nov 4, 2009 5:20 pm 50 Views If you like a girl, propose her for marriage and follow the following procedure: 1) send a notice u/s 142(1)(ii) to the girl for submiiting her consent over your proposal 2) send a show cause noticea u/s 144 to her father to give reason for not marrying her 3) pass the assesment order & raise demand u/s 156 4) if ur father in law does not deposite within due time, he shall be the assesse in default u/s 220 5) if within 6 years from the date of your marriage you come to know that your father in law has one more daughter then you can open the case u/s 147 for Daughter escaping marriage Disclaimer: Person following these section in his life shall be solely responsible & the auther shall not be held guilty for anything mishappening. 0 Comments

Best Divorce Letter!!! Nov 3, 2009 6:33 pm 88 Views Dear hubby: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Husband's reply to his wife's letter : Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem 2 Comments

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