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Best Divorce Letter!!! Nov 3, 2009 6:33 pm 162 Views Dear hubby: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Husband's reply to his wife's letter : Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem 2 Comments

Humour Nov 3, 2009 6:30 pm 58 Views What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? " Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything !! " -------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?The ones in the casinos are serious. ------------------------------------------------------------- When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. ------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy went up to his father and asked : " Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? " His father replied : " Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine. " ------------------------------------------------------------- John's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : "John seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls. " The mother wrote back the next day : " If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father ! 0 Comments

Gujarati Funeral Nov 3, 2009 6:27 pm 63 Views A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha, I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT . Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, 6 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you. On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan. Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her. The 6 pairs of white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly. PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays. 0 Comments

Bush's dilema Nov 3, 2009 6:23 pm 55 Views Osama Bin Laden decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides hadn't a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad. Eventually the White House thought that the best agency who could decode it would be the Pakistan Intelligent Services (IS, since they were very close to the Al-Qaida. Within a minute, the ISI emailed the White House with this reply: 'Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.' 0 Comments

Heights Nov 3, 2009 6:20 pm 56 Views 1. What is height of Fashion? Ans : Dhoti with a zip. 2. What is height of Secrecy? Ans : Offering blank visiting cards. 3. What is height of Active laziness? Ans : Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk. 4. What is height of Craziness? Ans : Getting a blank paper Xeroxed. 5. What is height of Forgetfulness? Ans : Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last. 6. What is height of Stupidity? Ans : A person looking through a keyhole of a glass door. 7. What is height of Honesty? Ans : A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket. 8. What is height of Suicide? Ans : A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. 9. What is height of De-hydration? Ans : A cow giving milk powder. 10 What is Height of Kanjoosi? Ans : Banta's house has caught fire and he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!!! 0 Comments

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