NO POINTING FINGERS Nov 1, 2008 10:22 pm 279 Views A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?' The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.' We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too. 0 Comments

TRUST in Relationships Nov 1, 2008 10:21 pm 271 Views TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.' Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'. 0 Comments

Why women do not like men to be happy? Oct 31, 2008 8:32 pm 310 Views Men are just simply happier people, and here is why... Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier !!!! 2 Comments

What happens when mail is sent to wrong id? Oct 31, 2008 8:30 pm 301 Views A man checked-in to a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: -------------------------------------------------------- To : My Loving Wife Subject : I've Reached Date : 01 jan 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. 2 Comments

POLITICALLY CORRECT!! Oct 31, 2008 8:25 pm 260 Views While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.' 'No problem, just let me in,' says the man. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.' 'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP. 'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven.' So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.' The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.' So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?' The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. .. Today you voted.' 0 Comments

Clean Your Windows Oct 24, 2008 11:46 am 297 Views A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. 'That laundry is not very clean', she said. 'She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap' Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: 'Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?' The husband said, 'I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.' And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. 3 Comments

Size of Ball to Play with. Oct 23, 2008 12:45 am 284 Views 1. The sport of choice for the Urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors Is BASEBALL. 5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And........ 6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF. THE AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, The smaller your balls become.In real sense too? 0 Comments

Advancements in Veterinary Sciences Oct 21, 2008 7:18 am 304 Views A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away' The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure?' 'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied. 'How can you be so sure,' she protested. 'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything! He might just be in a coma or something' The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, Put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then Looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, ' I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'. The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the distraught woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill "£150!", she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet just shrugged, and said " I'm sorry... If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now £150..." 1 comment

Some Illogical Lessons in Logic _ Oct 9, 2008 8:04 am 345 Views If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? ............................................................. Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. ............................................................. Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa. ............................................................. Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. .............................................................. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ............................................................. The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.. ............................................................. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. ............................................................. 'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep ............................................................. There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning ............................................................. 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk ............................................................. 'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours ............................................................. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. ............................................................ The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn. ............................................................. A bus station is where a bus stops.. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say......... ............................................................. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. ............................................................. I was born intelligent - education ruined me. ............................................................. Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice? 1 comment

Great ones from Laloo Oct 8, 2008 9:39 pm 380 Views * Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo 'WAIT SIR' for which, Laloo replied '65Kgs' and moved on... * Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them 'Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...'. The man at the other end replies 'One second sir...' and Laloo immediately replies 'thank you' and puts the phone down. * At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, 'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.' & the man's companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.' The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR?' Laloo replies: 'LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.' * After having become the CM (chief minister) of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION????? 'Laloo, third from left' *Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and hesitated, 'Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.' Laloo was very surprised. 'You Japanese are very inefficient,' he stated 'Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar' 2 Comments

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