| Gentle Thoughts .......... :) |
Sep 4, 2008 11:42 am
55 Views | This is pure copy-paste from the email sent by a wonderful friend 
Gentle thoughts for today
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement..
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
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| On Aging and some more ........ :) |
Sep 4, 2008 4:34 am
56 Views | Some thoughts on Aging.....and some more 
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth... | |
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2 Comments | |
| Isreali sense of humour |
Sep 3, 2008 12:56 pm
119 Views | Israeli Sense of Humor at the U. N.
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began:
'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought,
'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them.'
The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted,
'What are you talking about? The Palestinians were not there then.'
The Israeli representative smiled and said,
'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.....'
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4 Comments | |
| Top 21 things an Indian does ......... :) |
Sep 2, 2008 5:57 am
162 Views |  | ha ha ha...enough sermonising...... I found this really amusing ..and... I did do some of these....
Top 21 things an Indian does after returning from being abroad :
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health consciousness.
19. Sprays deo so much that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says Hey instead of Hi
Says Yogurt instead of Curd
Says Cab instead of Taxi
Says Candy instead of Chocolate
Says Cookie instead of Biscuit
Says 'Free Way' instead of Highway
Says got to go instead of Have to go
Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on complaining about it every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats Zee several times, if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y, Zee.
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, and on seeing traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and 'Indian Road' Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complains about Jet Lag.
8. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink Diet Coke instead of 'Normal' Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in 'India' as if he/she is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to 'India', even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with; In US .... or When I was in US...
HOW MANY OF THESE DID YOU DO IN???????
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| The Turtles |
Sep 2, 2008 5:27 am
142 Views |  | Inspiration from blogs by my dearest friend YD4E 
The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
Moral :
Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.
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2 Comments | |
| Are you a cowboy ? ? |
Sep 1, 2008 10:59 am
189 Views |  | Ohhh...I liked this one maybe a few would like to re-evaluate themselves
Are you a cowboy?
An old cowboy sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence. A little later a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
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5 Comments | |
| Tired and Thirsty |
Aug 31, 2008 1:45 pm
228 Views | TIRED AND THIRSTY - THE DIFFERENCES
The Italian says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine.'
The Frenchman says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac.'
The Russian says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.'
The German says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer.'
The Mexican says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.'
The Jew says, 'I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.
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8 Comments | |
| Two after a break .............. :) |
Aug 30, 2008 2:10 pm
269 Views | Hi friends.......was away for a couple of days. So here's two posts in one go I think the first one was posted earlier but still ....
IRISH WEDDING
At an Irish wedding, everyone got drunk.
The bride's and groom's families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other.
The police had to break up the fighting.
The next week, both families were in court.
The judge asked, 'All right now, what happened?'
Paddy rose and said, 'Judge, I was the best man. I should explain what happened.'
'Go ahead, Paddy,' said the judge. 'Take the stand.'
Paddy explained, 'Per tradition, the best man got the first dance with the bride. After I finished my first dance, the music kept playing, so I danced a second song, and then the music kept going some more so I danced a third song.
All of a sudden, the groom leapt over the table, ran to us, and gave the bride an unmerciful kick, right between her legs!'
The shocked judge said, 'By God, that must have hurt!'
'Hurt?' replied Paddy, 'He broke three of my fingers!'
THE PHONE BILL
The phone bill was exceptionally high and
the man of the house called a family meeting...
On a Saturday morning... after breakfast...
Dad: People this is unacceptable.You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here,I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too,I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.
Maid: So - what is the problem?
We all use our work telephones !!!!!
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