ha ha ha...enough sermonising...... I found this really amusing ..and... I did do some of these....
Top 21 things an Indian does after returning from being abroad :
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health consciousness.
19. Sprays deo so much that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says Hey instead of Hi Says Yogurt instead of Curd Says Cab instead of Taxi Says Candy instead of Chocolate Says Cookie instead of Biscuit Says 'Free Way' instead of Highway Says got to go instead of Have to go Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on complaining about it every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats Zee several times, if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y, Zee.
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, and on seeing traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and 'Indian Road' Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complains about Jet Lag.
8. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink Diet Coke instead of 'Normal' Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in 'India' as if he/she is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to 'India', even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with; In US .... or When I was in US...
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
Moral : Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.
..and...
I did do some of these.... 
