Nopes I am not talking about the Romance by Ralph Lauren or the Alfred Sung creations she wears. I am talking about the true essence of being a woman. Has any man truly deeply inhaled the scent of a woman?
A true essence of a woman is her ability to dispense the perfume of love. I won’t go into the clichéd saying that to be a true woman you have to be a mother. No being a mother is the final burst of her gorgeous perfume.
Prior to that, a woman dispenses her scent in being just a woman. It’s her capability to be an independent thinker, her expertise in being a good daughter, a sister and most important being a very good friend.
Friends it’s very sad that when you inhale the scent of woman, you only inhale the perfume. Delve deep into her heart and take a deep breath. I promise you will inhale the most intoxicating aphrodisiac of this world.
I never had thoughts like this before, But now as I stand watching the sunset, On this American shore.
It is not goodbye dear sun As you journey to the east, My loved ones are waiting for you, With open eyes and arms to greet.
A simple wish from a simple heart. All the elements of the earth, please be a messenger and convey my thoughts, hopes and dreams. To my parents and my loved ones all the time.
I may not say it often enough. But I do miss you. And I love you all very much.
One of the great mysteries of human nature, we tend to live in a fool’s paradise. We love escapism, and shudder to face the realities of life. Is it possible that the realities are so dark, that we run towards a mirage? Knowing full well that the mirage is nothing but an illusion and can never be true.
Most of us have some sordid story or another in our lives. Knowing this full well if we tend to be a little sympathetic towards our fellow brothers and sisters is not going to harm us. Instead it is going to make us a better person.
After all lending a helping hand, show a kind smile; say something nice to someone who may be physically or emotionally weak. Does not make us weak, instead we grow stronger and enriched from within.
So why do we give in to the follies of human nature. Why do we show our ego? Be spiteful to the other and sometimes try to crush them too.
People, who tread on the weak, are living in a fool’s paradise too. You have not become stronger by crushing them; you have grown feebler within your soul.
There are some of us who lead double lives. They have double families even. Some men cheat on their wives may be because they do not get what they desired. I ask these people with two families, whom are you trying to fool? You first wife or your mistress, what are you trying prove the fact that you are a good juggler or the fact you’re a good liar and capable of lying to two women who have faith in you.
Do not think that you fool anybody by cheating her. Instead you are living in a fool’s paradise. One day, the tissue of lies will be ripped apart.
Lets all turn around and face reality no matter how dark it is. Lets all avoid escapism. Easier said than done ehhh.
Yesterday in one of the chat rooms a person accused me of having cyber sex. A person whom I thought was my friend in the lobby. I ask him, which actions of mine prompted you to accuse me.
Have I ever said to anyone in IFF that I’ll have cyber sex with him or her? Have I ever stripped on cam or said anything vulgar to anyone on the messenger? Has anyone even seen an indecent photograph of mine? Have I ever lead a man and then dumped him?
I have always been honest with everyone. I have said it from day one that am not looking for any relationships physical or otherwise. I have always maintained my position that am hurting right now and can’t take the risk of being hurt again.
Even in the chat rooms when I’m joking with people the other knows that its never gonna happen. I have always maintained the fact that I come to let off steam in the chat rooms. I would flirt to death there, but have refused all invitations to meet someone in person. In fact if I see a person who’s from New York I do not even want to entertain him any more even in the chat rooms. Moreover the people with whom I truly let my hair down are all my good friends. They know when I’m joking and when I’m serious.
So I ask you. You claimed to be my friend and yet you accuse me of having cyber sex. If so then you are not my friend, because you never understood me. Who gave you the right to accuse me in the first place? If you cannot accept me as I am and who I am then I do not need your friendship.
Choosing the right lipstick shade to wear. Oh what a choice it is to be made everyday. Anyone who has seen the countertop of my dressing mirror would know the variety of options at my disposal. From this variety I have to make the right pick. The perfect lipstick shade should after all blend with and highlight my make up as well as complimenting the natural skin color.
Even when buying a lipstick, we give a lot of thought and check to see if all the variables are fulfilled. Variables like color, shade, texture and of course the right SPF amount for softness.
I was told very early in my life that relationships are all about fulfilling all the variables in an equation. May be while choosing a man; I too am trying to match all the variables.
But unlike a math equation where, we can make certain assumptions for some variables. In a relationship when the assumptions are not fulfilled. The relationship is over.
But are my conditions too stringent? All I am looking for is a person who can understand me and compliment my personality. Just like my favorite lipstick. The one, which I wear with any dress and any make-up.
I mean after all in both cases if you are good enough to touch my lips. You should be good for me in all aspects.
Today I was very very naughty in the lobby. Heck gimme a day am not . So I was asked this question “Romita what is the difference between sex and love”. My answer, ”Sex is a first hand necessity and love is a second hand emotion”.
Do we really need to love someone to have sex? Definitely not you would say in this day and age. But the bigger question is do I believe that love is a second hand emotion? Perhaps not, am still doing a lot of soul searching on that. That would take another post I guess.
But if we have decided once and for all that sex is certainly a major necessity in life. Would it be scandalous for a woman to go up to a man and propose for sex?
Why is it that a man can directly ask a woman for sex, but a decent woman not? Why is it that if a woman is direct about her sexual needs, around you all the jaws start touching the floor?
Men like to flirt with sexy, spicy woman. Yet when she’s direct she gets to be termed as loose, or frustrated. Very few men appreciate the naughty nature of a mischievous woman.
For me its as clear as crystal. The day I feel the need and am interested in the right man. I would go up to him and say, “Hey would u like to sleep with me?”
After all as one friend pointed it out to me, men are always ready, it’s me that I have to think of
Anthony entered my cubicle with a very disturbed look on his face. “What’s up, something wrong with your program?”, I asked. Anthony replied, “No, my wife called. Some kid in the school she teaches brought a loaded gun today. He threatened to kill another student. Someone else informed the cops and now the whole school is shutdown”. Suddenly images of Columbine high school shooting flipped past my eyes. I was disturbed and horrified too.
What kind of parents are these that keep guns or drugs in the house. That too within easy access of children. What kind of environment are these children growing up? The other day I read in the newspaper that a first grader brought in some form of white powder to school. He said it was powdered sugar, and was distributing it to his friends. On inspection it was found to be cocaine.
People, who like to buy guns for whatever reasons are free to do so, please remember to keep them under lock and key when not being used. People, who do drugs, first do not do them in front of your kids and second keep them out of the reach of children.
Guns and drugs are major problems. A little discipline never hurt any child. Discipline does not mean a child has to be beaten black or blue. It comes in many forms. Sometimes a mere look is enough to convey to a child that you do not like his/her behavior. American school system encourages a child to tell tales about the parents, whenever a parent is abusive. This was put forth to secure the life of a student who had extremely abusive parents. Not parents who want to discipline their children.
Sometimes we forget in our blind love for a child, that all his/her actions are not to be forgiven. We should take upon ourselves to right the kids’ wrong doings and punish them. Love doesn’t have to be blind. Love should show the right path and make them a beautiful person.
Raising kids is a very tough job. I’m no mother so I can’t claim any experience in it. But I know this much that giving a clean, disciplined environment to a child is very important for the child’s upbringing. I only pray to god that when I am a mother, my natural instincts and my common sense would help me in bringing up my baby the right way.
"I will speak for the equal rights of women and try to draw the attention of the world to women in my state", said Girija Devi in an interview in a BBC news article.
Girija Devi belongs to one of the lowest of the lowly castes of Bihar. The Musahars. Traditionally Musahars are so poor and illiterate that they sometimes survive by eating mice.
The Musahars work mostly as farm laborers. They are landless and illiterate people. But they are not free of vices. Alcoholism is the most common vice for all men in this community. They spend half of the earnings on cheap home brewed liquor. Which hurts the women and children mostly, and at times proves fatal to them. Girija Devi’s husband was one such alcoholic.
Finally she decided to lead the battle against alcoholism in her own way. She fought against her husband, the local liquor shops and all men involved in selling and consumption of this beverage.
She and her band of women, burnt down liquor shops, shaved the heads of the alcoholics, garlanded them with shoes and paraded them in the village streets. Due to her tireless efforts 125 Musahar villages in east champaran, one of the remotest corners of Bihar, is now alcohol free.
She did not stop there. This illiterate woman then pushed for schools, roads and other amenities in her village. Her indefatigable spirit has now resulted in primary school, a brick road and drinking water supply in her village.
On Feb. 27th Girija Devi and a team of 5 women will be taking the stand in a meeting in United Nations. Speaking in her local bhojpuri dialect she’ll highlight the status and plight of woman in her community.
Girija Devi, to me is a true woman. She embodies a true feminist and feminism. As an educated woman I truly feel very small compared to you. You have achieved so much, u have a never say die attitude. I wish we could all be like her.
Note: I read about Girija Devi in news.bbc.com website. I was so impressed that I had to share her story with you. To read more please go to http://indianfriendfinder.com
Lately we have become paranoid about people whom we chat with. So much so that our ability to distinguish the real people from the fakes have diminished. Many a blog post has been written on this topic.
People have started to question everyone and anyone. I have been accused of being a man in a woman’s handle in the lobby. But people who know me, have seen me and spoken to me know that I am a woman.
Why is it that we’re accusing without any proof? Why in our quest for making friends we end up making enemies? Why do we let a few bad apples spoil the whole orchard of friendship?
We have very talented, intelligent, articulate and most of all sensitive people amongst us. So why do we allow suspicion to cloud our judgment. How is it possible to distinguish the real from the fakes?
I am no authority on this subject, and have been proven wrong many a times before. This has made me very wary and I have developed few simple rules.
First of all I do not give my id on the very first day of chatting. I have to chat with a handle for many hours sometimes days and then I’ll give my id.
Secondly and this is a more recent one. I try to notice the chat style of a handle. In my experience most of the fakes try to stick to a certain chat style. They go by the nazi propaganda machine motto “A lie told a thousand times becomes the truth”. A fake handle would like to stick to a certain topic even in their blogs. Blogs reflect our thoughts, and they cannot be the same everyday. Posts should show varied topics of interest, because human beings are incapable of holding on to the same thought day after day. Unless of course, you are a psycho. And a psycho in my book is a fake
Third and by far the most important, once you come on my messenger. I would definitely like to hear your voice and see your face. So be prepared with a microphone and camera. All I need to see is your face and nothing else After all if you truly want to be my friend, then you do not have to hide your face from me.
Does this mean that I have never broken my rules? Yes I have and most of the time I repented. So from now on to get to know the real deal, I have to stick by my 3 simple rules.
I believe if all of us chip in their rules at one place and follow them religiously. Very soon we would have only genuine people amongst us and no imitations.
I truly believed in the saying “There are no free lunches in the world, everything has to be paid for”. But is it really so?
Feb. 16th was one of the darkest days of my life. On this day I was fighting for my dignity, my self-esteem and most of all I was fighting for my right to equality in all aspects. Equal share to a lunch that was truly not free. I had spent many years preparing it.
In the afternoon when I returned home I was physically and emotionally exhausted. All I could do was cry out loud. I needed someone desperately by my side. Someone, with whom I could share my pain. I turned on my computer out of habit and see a friend on my YM. I asked her if she was there and could I talk to her. She said yes, and for the next hour she listened to me patiently. Sharing my pain, crying my tears, feeling my agony. When type written words were not enough we exchanged phone numbers and went vocal. There our voices expressed emotions that were lost in typed words. At that moment we went from being mere friends to truly good friends.
How many hours we spoke, how many times we got disconnected and redialed, I have lost count. All I remember is that we desperately wanted to hug each other, exchanged stories and gave each other strength.
In the evening I became sad again. This time another little angel came on my YM. She had a different strategy; she provoked me and made me laugh. I was crying and laughing simultaneously. At one moment I thought I was crazy. But she knew better. She had the right attitude.
Another gentleman, who gave me a recipe to forget pain, also helped me. A 5-step program which I follow now. He was the voice of reason.
End of the day the lesson learned was. Yes there are some things in this world that are free. Friendship is one of them. True friends are like priceless diamonds. You can never pay enough for them.
Thank you very much Namkeen, Payal, Bilingual. You are priceless to me.
When Pandora in all her feminine curiosity opened the box of evil. Of all the vices, pestilence and horrors, the worst evil to be unleashed on this earth was fear.
Everyday mankind is faced with some kind of apprehension or another. There is the fear of personal injury. One can die in many different ways, in an accident perhaps. If not death then there’s the dread of mutilation, or contracting some dreadful disease.
Fear of personal loss, is another kind of trepidation that plagues us. We are appalled at the prospect of losing hair, or gaining weight. Then there’s the prospect of losing all your personal possessions, going bankrupt and most of all we totally detest growing old.
However the mother of all terrors that we face in these modern times, is the fear of our fellow human beings. We fear the blacks, the Arabs, the Moslems, the Jews, and the Hindus. We are scared of anyone who does not belong to the confines of our individual group. We have become the proverbial toad in the well. Who thinks that the well is the entire universe and anything outside of it is a myth.
When does a child whose greatest fear in life is that of ghosts, goblins and the dark, grow up and is replaced by the horror of the fellow human being?
Take a look around and you will see that society does little to eliminate fear. In fact there are people who make a profit out of this human frailty. I am not talking about the latest arrivals in this business, the religious fundamental fanatics called terrorists. In fact they have been with us ever since the birth of mankind. My problem lies with the media. They are the latest entrants into this business. We are constantly hammered by commercials or infomercials that peddle products for losing weight, looking young even re-growing lost hair. Then there’s the cable news, whose firm belief is unless the news is capable of provoking some kind of emotional response it is not worthy of news. Hence the first thing that hits us as news with our morning cup of coffee is the gruesome killing at some corner of the world.
The government does little to allay our fears. In fact its only weapon is the security color-coding system. As Americans we have a guide to the probability factor of getting hit by a terrorist attack. If the color is orange or red then there’s a high risk of an American target being attacked by terrorist. But where’s the guide that lays out, actions for an American to perform to avoid such an attack? I do not know how to behave during an orange alert. What to look for, who to suspect? Why is it that the media never asks these questions to the government, whenever a terror alert is issued? Don’t we as Americans have a right to take precautions for our own safety, and please don’t tell me about the handbook provided by the homeland security department. If I have to duct tape one more window of my house, the cause of my death would then be asphyxia and not anxiety.
As an American society we have two choices in front of us. Both be consumed by fear, and disintegrate or face it. If we decide to be overcome by terror, then the present and future generations would see a rise in psychological problems like depression, anxiety and so forth. This would lead to the gradual decline of the social and family structure. On the other hand if we stand strong and face fear, we need strict behavioral guidelines from the pundits. It’s time for the pundits to put on their thinking caps and come up with a concise, rational solution to face fright.
Human race from time to time has risen to revolt against great powers and even greater evils. The people of France revolted against a powerful corrupt monarchy and gave birth to the ideology of socialism. On the other hand Russian revolution gave birth to communism. When that was not satisfactory, Russians revolted again to make way for democracy.
Let’s treat the war against terrorism as not simply a war, but a revolution against this evil called terror. So long it’s a war we will be fighting only terrorists and not terrorism. If one terrorist is defeated, it can be replaced by ten more, but if terrorism is defeated then it can never be replaced. To fight terrorism we need to fight fear in all forms. The remedy for terror, does not lie in prescription drugs, it lies in courage. Courage can only be gained by knowledge. Let’s get to know our fellow brothers, be they of any race, sex, culture or religion. Let’s learn to distinguish between press and propaganda. Only then can the revolution against terrorism be successful.
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