once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best;the most important,the most useful,the favorite
green said: "clearly i am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all .b..b. anima ./b.l./b.s would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that i am in the majority."
blue interrupted: "you only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."
yellow chuckled: "you are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."
orange started next to blow her trumpet: "i am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but i am precious for i serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when i fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."
red could stand it no longer, he shouted out: "i am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I bring fire into the blood. I am willing to fight for a cause. I am the color of danger and of bravery. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
purple rose up to his full height: he was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "i am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me, for i am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
finally indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening.
Thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort. In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "you foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest.
Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued: "from now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." and so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another
Is It Male or Female? ------------ --------- --------- --- SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears Useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just Opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in Pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere, You have to light a fire under it . . . And, of course, there's the Hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable And retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its Tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to Warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when The right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when The wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, But you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to Pick people up.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over The last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men Pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always Know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Things that make you go Hmmm.... Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Things that make you go Hmmm.... Why is it eggs that are laid in a hot chicken coop and Lay in hot straw all day before being gathered, must be Refrigerated to be kept fresh. --Sir Lawrence
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.
One evening a husband,thinking he was being funny,said to his wife'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast.Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust'cloud appeared when he shook them out.'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'She replied with a snicker... 'It's not talcum powder...... It's 'Miracle Grow.'
Twenty-20 - World Cup Final Post match presentation interview between Shastri and winning caption Dhoni
This Is Ultimate
In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeaph.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how the doctor helped to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni. . I am getting confused"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to confuse... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri, "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much respect to the seniors....and you ....." Dhoni interrupts.. ..
"Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank God they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.."
Shastri, "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has cost the game and won the cup..."
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty-20 world cup..
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of The problem.I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will p ay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house,2 retail stores,townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online under fake names.Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate.
The couple met on an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy.
They eventually decided to meet up - but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened.
Now they are both filing for divorce - with each accusing the other of being unfaithful.Sana said:"I thought I had found the love of my life. The way this Prince of Joy spoke to me, the things he wrote, the tenderness in every expression was something I had never had in my marriage.
"It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages - and how right that turned out to be.
"We arranged to meet outside a shop and both of us would be carrying a single rose so we would know the other.
"When I saw my husband there with the rose and it dawned on me what had happened I was shattered. I felt so betrayed. I was so angry." Adnan said: "I was so happy to have found a woman who finally understood me. Then it turned out that I hadn't found anyone new at all. "To be honest I still find it hard to believe that the person, Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things to me on the internet, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years."
Certified that Mr. /Miss ____________ _____ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this,he / she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.
It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.
In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.
