once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best;the most important,the most useful,the favorite
green said: "clearly i am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all .b..b. anima ./b.l./b.s would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that i am in the majority."
blue interrupted: "you only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."
yellow chuckled: "you are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."
orange started next to blow her trumpet: "i am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but i am precious for i serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when i fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."
red could stand it no longer, he shouted out: "i am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I bring fire into the blood. I am willing to fight for a cause. I am the color of danger and of bravery. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
purple rose up to his full height: he was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "i am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me, for i am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
finally indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening.
Thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort. In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "you foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest.
Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued: "from now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." and so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports,she should like it that you like sports,and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.God decides it all way before,and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Students secures lower grades in the externals, after looking at the mark sheet he asks professor.
Student : "Can you answer any question ? " .
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem? User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. Tech: You'll need a new power supply. User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. User: No way!Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem. User: I knew it! Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using? User: MS-DOS 6.22. Tech: That's your problem there.That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE.Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply. Tech: How did you come to that conclusion? User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said,and he started asking questions about the make of power supply. Tech: Then what did he say? User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
