once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best;the most important,the most useful,the favorite
green said: "clearly i am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all .b..b. anima ./b.l./b.s would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that i am in the majority."
blue interrupted: "you only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."
yellow chuckled: "you are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."
orange started next to blow her trumpet: "i am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but i am precious for i serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when i fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."
red could stand it no longer, he shouted out: "i am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I bring fire into the blood. I am willing to fight for a cause. I am the color of danger and of bravery. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
purple rose up to his full height: he was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "i am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me, for i am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
finally indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening.
Thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort. In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "you foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest.
Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.
The rain continued: "from now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." and so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents."
"Why not," thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives cost 50 cents,"
The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he put in fifty cents, then unzipped his pants and stuck his "thing" into the opening with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for 2 weeks.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his "thingy"
After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had too!"
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you`re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple, I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.
The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance. He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire.
With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided his hands through this tender, often hidden territory, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long.
And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"
Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.
And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again...
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.He was tall,muscular,and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful,sparkling green eyes,and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare.
The man noticed that he was the object of the woman's rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she prepared to apologize for staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear.
"I'll do anything,"he whispered in a deep, soft voice."Anything, absolutely anything you want, anything you have ever fantasized,for fifty dollars.There's just one condition.."Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition. The man said, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The women gazed into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, then reached into her handbag and took out fifty dollars. She scribbled her address on a napkin, folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand. She leaned over and whispered into his ear.."Clean...my...house."
The first day I met you, you smiled, And I was not able to understand the importance Like an idiot. You always look to me as a Good honest girl and I hope my love is not an Object of contempt. It is true I always said That I will remain a Bachelor, that is before I loved you. That idea was just Spoken in a fit of optimism; It was Rubbish after seeing. I regretted The days I did not speak to you or when not Seeing your pulverizing beauty. If I proposed I have a big doubt whether You would accept. A negative reply should not Come from your cherry pink lips, and so Make my life miserable. To die Without expressing my love for you Would be preferable to that. Correspondence Are the only source of comfort for me knowing it Is a sheer waste of time with you? If you write to me I shall be happy, but if you do not communicate I shall be miserable and gloomy, for your letters Are a source of pleasure and failure to get them? Always make me feel like committing suicide. With love and kisses, ....................................... It is always said, that to get an inner meaning, we have to read in between lines. It is not so in This case. Read ALTERNATE LINES, starting from "The first day..." and come to your own Conclusion.
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an Experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile; avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."
This is for a woman who needs a laugh and to the guys you think can handle it!
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.(do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
7. Cookie pieces contain no fat-- the process of breaking causes fat leakage. Exception: Cookies sold by TEXAS D'LITES distributors. Great "Meal Replacement" with little or no FAT content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other nutritional ingredients.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.
Wicked Mind
lopsided breasts 
(o) extra nipple breasts
