Love Arm'd Dec 27, 2007 11:05 am 977 Views Love Arm'd by Aphra Behn (1640-1689) Love in Fantastique Triumph sat, Whilst bleeding Hearts around him flow'd, For whom Fresh pains he did create, And strange Tryanic power he show'd; From thy Bright Eyes he took his fire, Which round about, in sport he hurl'd; But 'twas from mine he took desire, Enough to undo the Amorous World. From me he took his sighs and tears, From thee his Pride and Crueltie; From me his Languishments and Feares, And every Killing Dart from thee; Thus thou and I, the God have arm'd, And sett him up a Deity; But my poor Heart alone is harm'd, Whilst thine the Victor is, and free. 0 Comments

To Love is to Suffer...... Dec 27, 2007 10:37 am 1164 Views "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen Clear as mud, 10 Comments

My Big Red Balloon Dec 26, 2007 9:46 pm 1143 Views I have a balloon It's big and it's red I hold it up high and parade it 'round town The attention it gets is something to see I hold to it tight and won't let it go It serves a purpose only I can know The higher I hold it the further it takes prying eyes and knowing smiles from the real me who hides I'm hurting inside but you can't see I hide my pain from the world to see Behind my smile, inside my laugh You think you see me but all you see, a big red balloon created by me I wave it round for the world to see it's flashy and bright and hides the real me The me who feels she can't be loved simple, average, not flashy at all and just plain..... .. me 3 Comments

Obituary for the late Mr. Common Sense Dec 16, 2007 12:30 pm 1109 Views London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense > > 'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has > been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his > birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. > > He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: > Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; > Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. > Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more > than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in > charge). > > His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but > overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy > charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from > school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding > an unruly student, only worsened his condition. > > Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job > that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. > > It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent > to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not > inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an > abortion. > > Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became > contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better > treatment than their victims. > > Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar > in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. > > Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to > realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her > lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. > > Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his > wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. > He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, > Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. > > Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you > still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.' > This post thanks to a good friend who forwarded it to me. Today i light a candle for dear old Common sense, , he will be missed 3 Comments

Nobody likes me, Eveerybody hates me Dec 15, 2007 8:27 pm 1337 Views one of my favorite childhood songs, my father used to sing it to me and my brothers whenever we were whining or complaining or having a pity party, lol. It always made me laugh. Enjoy Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, Guess I'll eat some worms, Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones, Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms. Down goes the first one, down goes the second one; oh, how they wiggle and squirm! Up comes the first one, up comes the second one; oh, how they wiggle and squirm! First one's greazy, goes down easy, second one sticks to your tongue. Third one's rusted, fourth one's busted, fifth one starts to run. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna' eat some worms. Big ones, little ones, ooshy gooshy gooshy ones; worms that squirm and squirm. I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice and throw the skins away Nobody knows how fat I grow on worms three times a day Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms. Big fat juicy ones, Eensie weensy squeensy ones, see how they wiggle and squirm. Chomp off their heads and squeeze out the juice and throw their tails away Nobody knows how I survive on worms three times a day. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm goin' down the garden to eat worms Long thin slimy ones, short fat fuzzy ones, ooey gooey, ooey gooey worms 11 Comments

I do not love you Except because I Love You Dec 3, 2007 6:13 pm 1716 Views I do not love you except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you, From waiting to not waiting for you My heart moves from cold to fire. I love you only because it's you the one I love; I hate you deeply, and hating you Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you Is that I do not see you but love you blindly. Maybe January light will consume My heart with its cruel Ray, stealing my key to true calm. In this part of the story I am the one who Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you, Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood. Pablo Neruda This poem to me reflects a struggle. A war between the passion the heart is feeling and the logic of the mind..Thoughts and feelings are a classic struggle. “We do not chose love, love chooses us” Sometimes we deeply love someone, or something, despite the facts why we shouldn’t. Like an addiction “I do not see you but love you blindly” I love you madly and sometimes it’s beyond my control. What should one do, follow their heart, or use their brain and try to do what is right? 5 Comments

The Rules Of Bedroom Golf! Dec 2, 2007 9:42 pm 1268 Views okay friends, remember to play safe and have fun out there. 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played , or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. 10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole. 13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request. 15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. 14 Comments

-----R YOU A WORKAHOLIC?----- Dec 2, 2007 10:02 am 1017 Views The Workaholic A workaholic finally decided to take a long overdue vacation. He booked a Caribbean cruise and was having the time of his life... until the boat sank! He found himself swept onto a desert island. Six lonely months later, he is lying on the beach when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. "Where did you come from?" he asks. "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my ship sank" she says. "Amazing". "You were really lucky to have a row-boat wash up with you". "Oh this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material that I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree". "But that's impossible," stutters the man, "You had no tools. How did you manage?" "Oh, no problem", replies the woman. "On the other side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools." The guy is stunned. "Lets row over to my place." She says. She docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow. "It's not much but I call it home," she says. "Would you like another drink?" "No thank you," he says still dazed. "Can't take any more of that coconut juice" "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have my own still. How about a Pina Colada while I slip into something more comfortable." She returns wearing nothing but vines and a strategically placed shell necklace. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here a long time. You've been lonely. I've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right about now, something you've been longing for all these months," her hands sliding over his legs. He can't believe what he's hearing. His heart begins to pound. He's truly in luck! "You mean." he gasps, "I can actually check my e-mail from here?" 2 Comments

Breast Obsession Dec 1, 2007 7:41 am 2678 Views » Breast Obsession A man was obsessed with women's breasts, so he went to a psychologist and told him his problem. "Let's play a little word association game," the doctor said. "I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind." "Plums," said the doctor. "Breasts," the patient said. "Oranges." "Breasts," the patient replied. "Watermelons." "Breasts," said the patient. "Wipers." "Breasts," the patient said. "Wait a minute!" the doctor said. "I can understand the connection between plums, oranges, watermelons and breasts. But, automobile wipers? Where's the connection?" "Easy, doc," the patient explained, "one on the left and one on the right!" Medical Benefits Of Breast Watching This came from the New England Journal of Medicine, so men take heart, and ladies chill they're only doing it for their health. Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work- out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby. Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier." "Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four or five years." 20 Comments

The Little Angel on the Top of the Christmas Tree! Nov 28, 2007 1:52 pm 1213 Views Soon to be a classic christmas story told in homes across the world The Little Angel on the Top of the Christmas Tree! One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it? Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree. Author Unknown 4 Comments

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