Sophisticated Meanings In Bombay? Sep 8, 2007 5:37 am 811 Views Sophisticated Meanings In Bombay? There's a minor problem Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya There's a big problem Arre yaar, "Zol" ho gaya There's a huge problem Arre yaar, "Raada" ho gaya You'll be surprised. Ekdam "Hill" jayega tu I am going out of this place Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai. Don't make a fool of others Dekh , Tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko Just get out of here, you oversmart fool!! Chal e Shaaane, "Hawa" aan de I am not a stupid out here Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya There's some misunderstanding Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi Do you drink daily? Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai? See, You are afraid.. Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi Shall I just bash u? E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ? Just take him into a secret place Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja What a beautiful lady !! Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!! What a sensuous/unexplainably sexy lady!! Kya "Raapchik Maal / Piece" hai yaar!! Don't just bluff..OK? E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de.. Ya..she is staring at u.. buddy!!! Kya sahi "LINE" deti hai "Bhiduu"!! Don't take much tension.. Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya?? Your clothes are very awkward!! Kya "ZAGMAG / DHINKCHAAK" pehna tune? I don't care about it much..!! Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata" Please don't overbore me.. Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu All this must be done without anyone's notice Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye.kya? "SAHI HAI NA BAAP??!!!...KYA BOLTA??" 5 Comments

Growing Pains! Sep 8, 2007 5:32 am 787 Views Growing Pains! Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds. Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?" "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" 6 Comments

Free Ride Is Over Sep 4, 2007 7:26 pm 684 Views Free Ride Is Over It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally, he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16 years old. She agreed. The butcher had been counting the years off on his calender, when one day the boy who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow!" "I know, I know" said the butcher with a smile."I've been counting too!" "Now tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the LAST free meat she'll get from me... and watch the expression on her face!" When the boy arrived home he told his mother what the butcher had said. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I've also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years...and watch the expression on HIS face!" 2 Comments

Understand Your Gujju Friend - When they say: They mean: Sep 4, 2007 7:23 pm 700 Views Understand Your Gujju Friend - When they say: They mean: Q: How do Gujju's pronounce the word 'fatigue'? A: Faa-tee-gee-u! Q: What do you call a Gujju with no knees? A: Knee-less (Nilesh) Q: What do you call an impotent Gujju? A: Kamlesh (cum less) Q: What did a Gujju say when a raw mango fell on doctor's head. A: Carry (Keri) on Doctor. Q: Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten up? A: The Gujju told Clinton: "You are a very IMPOTENT (important) man" Q: Why won't the Gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP bhaiya? A: The bhayiya kept giving Gujju a bunch of hair each time the Gujju asked for kesh (cash). Q: What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race? A: Tomato ketchup (catch-up). Q: Why did the Gujju go to Rome ? A: He wanted to listen to Pope (pop) music. Q: Why did Gujju touch Pope's feet ? A: To feel the Pope corn (pop-corn). Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayo? A: Ramesh's son failed in statistics. Q: Why was the Gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams? A: He wanted to get "cent-par-cent" . Q: What did the Gujju have in the morning? A: Light snakes (snacks) for breakfast. Q: A Gujju started putting two locks on his door after seeing this Hindi movie. A: "Lok Parlok" Q: Why did the Gujju think Gandhi's role was enacted by a woman in the film "Gandhi"? A: He thought Ben Kingsley a woman. 3 Comments

Every Woman's Dream Aug 31, 2007 8:16 pm 1007 Views Every Woman's Dream A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?" The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5,000 in cash." 11 Comments

Top 11 Reasons To Come To Work Naked Aug 31, 2007 8:10 pm 929 Views Top 11 Reasons To Come To Work Naked 11. No one ever steals your chair. 10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 09. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 08. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. 07. So that, with a little help, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. 06. You want to see if it's like the dream. 05. To stop those creepy guys in Finance from looking down your blouse. 04. You can finally say : "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 03. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources. 02. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. And the number one reason to Go To Work Naked . . . .. 01. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 8 Comments

sardar jokes:)) ooppsss please no offence to anyone Aug 31, 2007 7:57 pm 804 Views Sardarji and a barber Once a Sardarji was travelling in a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 bucks to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 bucks, the Sardar ji deserved more service. When the Sardar ji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was called and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed. Said his wife "What's the matter?" Sardarji replied " The cheat on the train has taken my 20 bucks and woke up someone else." Sardarji on Train Once a sardarji was travelling by train. It was high summer & the climate was too hot. At a station came a handy-fan seller & entered the Sardar`s bogie. All the passengers in the Sardar`s bogie bought the handy-fan but till the next station everyone`s fan-feathers fell off except for the Sardar`s. All the passengers astonishingly asked him how did he manage to keep it fresh as before. The Sardarji cooly answered,"Oye, pankha muhke aage rakh aur sirf teri mundi hilaa." "(Hey, keep the fan in front of your face, and only move your head.)" Call to Pantry! A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Abey saale! Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The Sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the Sardarji and put down the phone! Surd Questions What will you call a sardar ji who JUSt likes to drink BEER? JASBEER SINGH What will you do to make a sardarji laugh on sunday? Simple, tell him a joke on wednesday. How many sardarjis will be needed to put a nail in wall? Hundreds. Ask why? One sardar ji holds nail against wall and the rest will push the wall from other side. love the nail on 5 Comments

BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!! Aug 27, 2007 5:16 pm 681 Views BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!! HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!! HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!! HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must have been given your share!!! HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!! HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! SHE: Okay, get out!!! HE: I think I could make you very happy! SHE: Why? Are you leaving? HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!! HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why, don't you already have one? HE: Shall we go and see a film? SHE: I've already seen it!!! HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together? SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!! HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Hiding from you. HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before? SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore. HE: Is this seat empty? SHE: "Yes, and this one will be if you sit down." 4 Comments

Bollywood's 'Titanic' Aug 27, 2007 5:12 pm 587 Views Bollywood's 'Titanic' Have you ever wondered what would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in Bollywood? The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay". Well here it goes! * Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad man" everytime he sees Shahrukh. * Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die. * Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every dance sequence in the world. * The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in CD album. * The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta. The ship will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive on-board population. * The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would be replaced with a song in the Swiss Alps. * Best friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being raped during chaos.The sister will instantly fall in love right after this and she will also get a song or two. * Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water? In our case, Madhuri changes her mind, since...since... the ship is moving along a creek and the water stinks! * How can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting Madhuri's portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus the locket (Censors yaar!). This is to be followed by a dance number, with extras of course, in a art gallery. * Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi on the ship. Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Shahrukh about how Gulshan troubled them. Shahrukh would then yell, "Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaaoonga". The ensuing fight would only last for an hour. * There would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted by Annu Kapoor instead of the trio playing the violin. * Most important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo" would be yelled would be a record in the history of cinema. And the masterpiece would be waste of time...ooops waste of money without... * "Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen ko zinda dekhna chahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado se hamesha hamesha ke liye bahooot door le le..." 1 comment

English Tuition! Aug 27, 2007 5:08 pm 567 Views Laloo goes to america for learning english. After some days George Bush calls Rabri Devi & told her "Ae sasoora angreji nahin seekh sakat hai." What do they call French Toilet in Bihar? La loo Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on... Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "Thank you" and puts the phone down. Laloos family planning policy.. "Don't have more than two children in one year" At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED." After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left" Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar" A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?" "Marriage" 1 comment

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