The ABC of Fruitiness Jul 1, 2007 8:09 am 879 Views A is for apple, shiny and green B is for banana, slightly obscene C is for coconut, all matted and hairy D is for date, hot, blind or scary E is for end, I've got to conclude Before I reach kumquat It's much, much too rude! 9 Comments

One Wacky Rooster Jun 17, 2007 6:21 am 930 Views Roosters crow at the crack of dawn heralding a brand-new day. Do they not? Then tell me, please, what is it with the cock-of-the-walk who lives at the ranch behind my property? He roosts with the turkeys there, or so I've been told, and he goes for a walk with the flock every afternoon Walking by my windows he pecks at the ground and tries his best to make a gobbling sound He's become enamored by one turkey hen and tries his best to fan his tail whenever she’s within sight He blurts out his wake up call all hours of the day and sometimes in the midst of night If roosters can have Alzheimer's then that one surely does he woke me this morning at 2 a.m. He went on and on and on and I think I've figured it out he was a turkey in another life and we all know they're not too bright This is for my mate fox fox hope u liked it babe 9 Comments

shaayari Jun 15, 2007 4:02 am 979 Views I have a shaayari id like to share to all my friends.......... chale gaye ho dur kuch pal ke liye,dur rehkar bhi kareeb ho har pal ke liye,kaise yaad na aaye aapki ek pal ke liye,dil main ho ho aap har pal ke liye. in a basic translation for any of u that didnt understand it says........ God is so wise that he created friends without a price tag, because if he had i couldnt have afforded you!! love u all my dear friends 10 Comments

The Belch Jun 14, 2007 3:52 pm Mood: giggly, 882 Views The Belch From out of the dark came a dreadful sound, The hideous Belch is back in town! He's been dining on curry, it's not very nice, There's a rich mix of spices, and a suggestion of rice. He's been brewing his potion for roughly an hour, It sounds most ferocious, full of knee trembling power! But worse than the noise, is the stench that it brings, Keep it clear of your nose for it bites, burns and stings! It's rancid and foul, and causes much sorrow, For it's friend 'Burning Bum' is arriving tomorrow! had to put this one what with me being a tandoori chef in an indian restaurant 5 Comments

On My Lips Jun 14, 2007 3:48 pm 1024 Views On My Lips Fingers tracing, tickling, teasing, Hot breath exploring soft blushing skin, Urgent usherings through new folds uncovered by subtle moans and seductive moves. Tasting love, testing Love, discovering... GASPS! Heartbeat, hot breath, quivering lips, Glistening baubles of feminine mystique, Trembling 'neath touches of male desire, Presure in rhythm brings writhing and giggling, Dividing the covers with sweet scents of love. Nibbling with lips and teasing with tongue, That blow the world and it's woes far away Blowing, blinding, tickling, pleasing. Darkest of night, starkest of day. In the lap of a Lover rests the kingdom of heaven - a feast for a king - a gift for a god. 11 Comments

Family Pants Jun 6, 2007 2:01 pm 925 Views Family Pants Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. I took off my pants, gave them to her, and told her to put them on." "I can't wear these," she said. "Darn right," he said, "I wear the pants in this family, and you'd better remember that." "I think I'll try that on Jill," Jack said. He went to Jill, took off his pants, and gave them to her. "Put these on," he said. Jill replied, "I can't wear these." "Darn right. I wear the pants in this family and you'd better remember that," he said. Then Jill took off her pants, gave them to him, and told him to put them on. "I can't get in to these," he said. "Darn right," Jill said. "And if you don't change your attitude you never will!" 5 Comments

Advantages Of Being A Woman Jun 6, 2007 1:00 am 927 Views Why it's better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. 5 Comments

Girls night out Jun 6, 2007 12:52 am Mood: giggly, 829 Views Girls night out Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!' 3 Comments

sweet chilllie my didi well not so darn sweet!!! Jun 5, 2007 3:33 pm Mood: bouncy, 1199 Views hmmm where do i start,ok i met her on here some 10 months ago, oh god why was i so nice to her. from that day on she aint shut up chatting,she likes to show off her horsey features u see(teeth) lol oh god didi dont yell at me for that cos u know i got the arms anyway guys and gals i have met sweetchillie twice and its like we always have known each other, its great cos i can take the mickey out of her and she just laughs it off,them teeth again see!!! well we chat on phone daily ,no ill change that she chats on phone daily to me i can just about get an odd word in here and there, and well close all windows cos if i dont i lost track what she saying she has maybe typed 10 lines by time i blink an eye ufffffffffff yeah she can talk can my sweetchillie. well taking her out to parties and things is slightly embarrassing as she laughs so much she blinds all with them teeth of hers!!.......oh god she so gonna kill me but if u see apic of me and her together u know what i mean by the teeth. and her drinking omg a couple of malibus and she doing them bhangra moves and showing all she is good at chakde phattey lol sweetchillie what can i say about her really, she is my big sis,she is a true big sister to me. its like ive known her all my life and if u ask her about me she will say same. we get on great together,poor people who have to be in r company hey if ever u meet her and u offer her some lunch and a chat u r in for it she will order a packet of mc coys crisps and chat and munch away till she falls asleep and yeah she will be sleeping with hand in crisp packet and yeah as soon as she wakes up she munching on them crisps some more have to push her to have a cuppa for breakfast before eating dry crisps u know she comes no hello sis hows u its get the kettle on sis and bring on the chocolate biscuits and we will chat well my god i cant get up from me seat to put the darn kettle on cos she aint stopped typing away and by the time she shuts up its cos she got to leave so scrap having a coffee morning with her cos u wont be getting the coffee you know what guys and gals i am actually so glad i talked to sweetchillie in lobby that day we truely have a tight friendship that yes few been funny of and tried to break it but shame on them it didnt work it just made r friendship stronger. u know in truth she is as nutty as i am and thats why it works with us. thing is now cos we r about 170 miles apart its difficult to have them days together shopping or having brunch or coffee together. however this is for my didi really........im looking into moving to london didi so i can be with u more as this friendship is for keeps gal. now guys and gals when u sweetchillie in loby u take care of her cos if u dont she will set meupon u all and u know i bite hard lol. my conclusion is.........true friends r to be found me and sweetchillie r living proof,so anyone out there who is lonely and lost for friends, dont give up cos truely there is a friendship out there to be had!!! now didi u best not tell everyone what things u and me get up to on a night out cos we may just scare them off and we will have to party alone and u know thats trouble for all them single guys out there didi cos it means we have to shake r big botties alot more 11 Comments

Take Me Higher May 28, 2007 4:49 pm 1004 Views He said High, She said low He said now, She said no. Surely this is good She just stood He moved again, She said it′s the same. She then said high, And expressed oh my Her comments At his decorating Made him want to cry. yeah yeah yeah u lot i know what u was thinking tut tut shame on u 9 Comments

 tandoorikelly2

38 F