Love in the Kitchen May 28, 2007 4:40 pm 1050 Views My love was waiting in the kitchen, And she was, as naked as could be? No sweeter sight I had ever met, My mouth did drool and felt so wet, Just lying there, with her legs crossed, A sure temptation, what ever she cost. Not wanting to get my finger burned. Should I go slowly, from lessons learned? I yearned for her, with all my might, She was my favourite, one sure delight. I just had to have her, then and there, Couldn′t give a damn and showed no care. Taking her gently, holding the breast, The part that I surely loved the best. I also had to do some finger licking. Surely she was the tastiest, roasted chicken? 7 Comments

THE WHOOPEE CUSHION WAITING ON THE TEACHER’S CHAIR May 28, 2007 4:30 pm Mood: mischievous, 1137 Views All the class is silent Our eyes are fixed on where The whoopee cushion’s waiting on our teacher’s chair First she paces to the right, then paces to the left Carries on the lesson while perching on her desk Nobody is moving, everybody stares At the whoopee cushion waiting on our teacher’s chair We’re praying for that moment, when she will sit down Thinking of the giggling when we hear that funny sound SQUEAK! BLART! HONK! FLURP! PARP! BLURRRR! The whoopee cushion’s waiting on our teacher’s chair It cannot be much longer now, we know that it will get ‘er The anticipated waiting will make it even better Cos she hasn’t got a clue, she hasn’t got a care But the whoopee cushion’s waiting on our teacher’s chair What’s that noise creaking down the corridor Our Head Teacher’s coming – oh no! It’s Mr. Moore! We’d better all watch out, we’d better all beware The whoopee cushion’s waiting on our teacher’s chair He’s going to sit down on it! Oh no – disaster! We’re going to get in trouble now with our old Headmaster It sounds like twenty tubas Or a trumpet premiere You should have seen him jump! Ten feet in the air! A red faced ranting raver He began to swear Sounds that shook the ground Vibrating everywhere When the cushion was deflating on the teacher’s chair Everyone is frightened now, we’re bound to get detention But what happens next is beyond our comprehension Mr. Moore turns round to Miss and with an icy glare Blames her for the whoopee cushion left upon the chair Twice the embarrassment, twice the fun Got two teachers for the price of one ! So much pleasure for us all to share … Thanks to the whoopee cushion on the teacher’s chair 4 Comments

MEN May 22, 2007 4:29 pm 871 Views No need to fear a growling bear Or a dark forboding stranger. But all you women on this earth Beware of one grave danger! Times have changed from years ago But still it's just as then. Be on your guard and on the watch For our enemy is.... MEN! There are many of them in the world, Different, yet they're all the same. How often has one said "I love you", Then next week forgets your name?! Where do they get the lines they use? "Do you come here often?" "Beautiful eyes!" It may sound good to hear them talk But we know they're full of lies. Make sure to watch for subtle tricks Like "Loosen up, have a drink." You'll know what his true motives are, If you have the time to think. You'd think they'd change as they mature, Since wisdom comes with age. But truthfully they never do Outgrow that youthful stage. The world would be a better place. Without men. But still I doubt That I would be much happier because "Can't live with them....or without. 5 Comments

Eight Thousand Metres Up May 22, 2007 4:24 pm 914 Views Eight Thousand Metres Up Eight thousand metres up, the plane is falling from the sky, Both engines have failed and they are all about to die The passengers are desperate, the pilot's in a panic A young woman leaps up at last, her voice is clearly frantic She rips off her shirt and shouts to all the passengers and crew 'Someone! Make a woman of me! Any man will do!' A bloke three rows back sees his chance - is this his dying wish? He rips his shirt off, flings it at her and says 'Here! Iron this!' 4 Comments

The Terrible Teens May 21, 2007 6:09 am Mood: giggly, 836 Views The Terrible Teens Turn that bloody music down, My head is spinning round Have you no consideration when you're blasting out that sound? I think they call it Hip Hop, But me, I call it crap The bass it sounds so bloody loud, It gives me a heart attack, You haven't cooked the dinner, Or tidied up your room If you don't sort this mess right out, You get to leave home soon! Makeup on the bedroom floor, Dirty washing in a pile I gave up clearing after her, It's just not worth my while. And what is that you're wearing? It's my brand new bloody skirt You can take it off right now my lass, And get rid of that smirk! So you've looked all through my wardrobes, And what else have you stolen? And I suppose you've nicked my tights again, Now that yours are full of holes, I thought I smelt my perfume, You've got a bloody cheek And I bet you've used my hairspray, You know, the one I bought last week, You're always taking liberties, You don't even ask to borrow Whatever you have nicked tonight, You can give me back tomorrow, And I want it washed and ironed, I've only worn it twice, If I get to wear it after you, Then not ruined, Would be nice! And I suppose you'll want a lift again? And more money from my bank You take the piss right out of me, Now I've no diesel in my tank Well this is the very last time, You can go and ask some other And in future will you please grow up, You're supposed to be my MOTHER !!! 2 Comments

Pants May 21, 2007 4:42 am 943 Views She wanted embroidered on pants and her bra a message that told him that he'd gone too far. A motif that told him "If you can read this, You're much too close, so give it a miss." "Certainly Modom," the saleslady said. "In what kind of script would you like it read? Copperplate? San Serif? Bold wouldn't fail." She thought for a moment and then she said… "Braille." 7 Comments

For the blokes!!!!!!!! May 21, 2007 4:28 am 953 Views For The Blokes!! Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my s e x appeal Is now my water spout. 'Twas a time, when of it's own accord From my trousers it would spring, But now I have a part time job To find the blasted thing. I used to be embarrased To make that thing behave, For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. But as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues, To see it hang it's withered head And watch me tie my shoes. 7 Comments

Des Rangila May 12, 2007 6:32 am Mood: beautiful, 932 Views ho ho o o o o .... yahaan har kadam kadam pe dharti badle rang yahaan ki boli mein rangoli saat rang yahaan har kadam kadam pe dharti badle rang yahaan ki boli mein rangoli saat rang dhaani pagdi pehne mausam hain neeli chaadar taane ambar hain nadi sunehri hara samundar hain re sajila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila ho ho o o o o .... sindoori gaalon wala suraj jo kare thitholi sharmeelen kheton ko dhank de chunar peeli peeli ghoonghat mein rang panghat mein rang cham cham chamkila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila ho ho o o o o .... ?abil? gulaal se chehre hain yahaan mastaanon ki toli rang haseen mein rang khushi mein rishten jaise holi baaton mein rang yaadon mein rang rang rang rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila hey dholaaa~ re mharo dhola re ishq ka rang yahaan par gehraa chadh ke kabhi na utre sachhe pyar ka thehra sa rang chhalke par na bikhre rang adaa mein rang haya mein hain rasila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila yahaan har kadam kadam pe dharti badle rang yahaan ki boli mein rangoli saat rang dhaani pagdi pehne mausam hain neeli chaadar taane ambar hain nadi sunehri hara samundar hain re sajila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila ho rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila des rangila rangila des mera rangila here is another of my favoruite songs do i need to say more on why it such a nice song the lyrics say all.........its from the film fanaa and oh what a film that is too!!! 5 Comments

Headache Cure May 6, 2007 4:52 pm Mood: giggly, 558 Views A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache." "Perfect" her husband said. no excuses!! 0 Comments

6 naughty poems lol a must read May 6, 2007 4:13 pm Mood: hot, 10709 Views 6 Poems SKY IS BLUE WATER IS WET I'LL MAKE YOU COME I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY MOVIN' UP AND DOWN SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY WE WILL MOVE TO THE GROUND ********** \bsexo?\b IS LIKE MATHS YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES ADD THE BED DIVIDE THE LEGS THEN MULTIPLY!!!! ********** ROSES ARE RED GRASS IS GREEN OPEN YOUR LEGS AND I'LL FILL YOU WITH CREAM ********** HICKORY dickORY DOC DIS bitch WAS suckING ME cock THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO ME DUMPED ME GOO AND DUMPED HER AT DA END OF THE BLOCK ********** \bsexo?\b IS GOOD \bsexo?\b IS FINE DOGGY STYLE OR 69 JUST FOR FUN OR GETTING PAID EVERYONE LIKES GETTING LAID ********** \bsexo?\b IS A TEMPTATION CAUSED BY A SENSATION WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION IN A WOMAN'S VENTILATION DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION? OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION? 8 Comments

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