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Great Expectations
It was professor Smith's
first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known
for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom
of 1st year medical ... |
5 |
49 |
15 |
3.59 |
3/28/2009 11:05 am |
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The Pastor's Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor
was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race
again, and it won again. ... |
5 |
60 |
5 |
4.12 |
3/2/2009 9:55 am |
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11th husband
A young man married a beautiful
woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please
be gentle; I'm still a virgin". ... |
8 |
132 |
19 |
2.86 |
2/26/2009 9:52 am |
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Womanly Atlas
Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman
is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and ... |
3 |
60 |
6 |
4.50 |
2/20/2009 9:13 am |
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The great grand father!
An Arab family in N.Y. was considering
putting their Grandfather in a Nursing Home. Since most of the facilities were completely full, they
had to put him in a Jewish home in ... |
2 |
54 |
8 |
3.25 |
2/11/2009 10:00 am |
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You can make a difference
The Boy and the Starfish
One day, an old man was walking along the beach in the early
morning and noticed the tide had washed thousands of starfish
up on ... |
2 |
37 |
3 |
3.43 |
1/5/2008 6:10 am |
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Grouchy
A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,
'How did I get here?'
Her mother told her, 'God sent you.'
'Did God send you, too?' asked the child.
... |
3 |
92 |
12 |
2.80 |
1/4/2008 8:55 am |
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busy bee
*For all the busy people in the
world.
SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy. Very
MEANINGFU Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening ... |
0 |
24 |
1 |
1.10 |
12/26/2007 8:10 am |
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Couplets
A husband and wife are sitting
quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and
asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you ... |
1 |
53 |
5 |
3.80 |
12/17/2007 6:01 pm |
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Asking the right question
Jack and Max are walking from
religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all
right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" ... |
1 |
24 |
2 |
4.50 |
12/12/2007 6:23 pm |
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Bad luck
A Faithful Wife
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every
single day.
One ... |
0 |
77 |
5 |
4.12 |
12/2/2007 9:50 am |
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Some jokes
Some Jokes! Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl. Husband: Then ... |
2 |
121 |
11 |
4.48 |
11/23/2007 6:21 pm |
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Beware of old grannies!
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi
grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his ... |
2 |
37 |
4 |
2.86 |
11/16/2007 6:23 pm |
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Indian Hell
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do ... |
6 |
105 |
10 |
4.18 |
11/15/2007 5:43 pm |
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Four letter words!!
A young couple got married and
left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately
called her mother. Her mother asked, 'How was the honeymoon?'
'Oh, ... |
2 |
57 |
5 |
3.80 |
11/2/2007 7:30 pm |
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Cleaning up
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the
first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic ... |
3 |
114 |
8 |
4.87 |
10/31/2007 6:58 pm |
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Newton commits suicide!!
Once, Newton came to India and
watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He
was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were
just a huge pile of junk ... |
3 |
47 |
3 |
3.43 |
10/26/2007 7:25 pm |
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Mean mum
** Someday when my children are
old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me: **I loved you enough . . . to ask where ... |
0 |
19 |
1 |
5.00 |
10/23/2007 6:46 pm |
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Experience
A woman decides to have a facelift
for her birthday. She spends $5, 000 and feels pretty good
about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a ... |
3 |
107 |
7 |
5.59 |
10/16/2007 6:59 pm |
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How the stock markets work!!
It was autumn, and the Red Indians
on the remote reservation asked their New Chief if the winter
was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief
in a modern ... |
2 |
20 |
0 |
0.00 |
10/11/2007 6:59 pm |
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Quickie!
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush
are having breakfast at the White House
The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like,
and he replies,
"I'd like a ... |
2 |
88 |
4 |
4.02 |
9/28/2007 7:22 pm |
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Strategy!
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars
at London.
Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house
and has a lot of money to spend.
Hamid only brings in ... |
1 |
26 |
1 |
3.70 |
9/26/2007 7:13 pm |
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Don't Mess with Kids
6 reasons not to mess with children:
(1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a ... |
1 |
20 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/25/2007 7:35 pm |
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How to break bad news!
HOW TO BREAK A BAD NEWS
At dawn the telephone rings.
'Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, caretaker
of your country house.'
'Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. ... |
3 |
72 |
6 |
2.51 |
9/23/2007 7:15 pm |
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One more reason to have an affair!
The wife came home early to find
her husband making love to a beautiful sexy young woman.
"You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk! What are you
doing? How dare you do ... |
4 |
156 |
8 |
4.17 |
9/14/2007 9:02 pm |
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Blonde 2 blonde
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local
police cruiser pulled her over.
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened
to ... |
2 |
72 |
2 |
3.81 |
9/6/2007 6:54 pm |
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English anyone?
The perils of English as a second
language...
In a Bangkok temple: "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN,
EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."
... |
0 |
19 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/29/2007 6:54 pm |
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Some definitions!!
Office: A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
Nurse: A person who ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/26/2007 6:18 pm |
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Duckie baby!
Three women die together in an
accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have
one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" ... |
2 |
29 |
0 |
0.00 |
8/24/2007 7:02 pm |
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Dream Job!
One day a man spotted a lamp by
the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and
a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish, " the
genie said. ... |
2 |
30 |
1 |
2.40 |
8/23/2007 6:22 pm |
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Its all in the blood!
An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati
Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed
to store his blood in case the need arises. As the ... |
1 |
23 |
1 |
3.70 |
8/23/2007 6:19 pm |
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Selling coke!
A disappointed salesman of Coca
Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful
with the Arabs?"
... |
2 |
40 |
2 |
3.81 |
8/20/2007 6:50 pm |
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Legal or logical?
Students secures lower grades
in the externals, after looking at the mark sheet he asks
professor.
Student : "Can you answer any question ? " .
Professor: ... |
3 |
33 |
10 |
2.99 |
8/18/2007 11:40 pm |
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Women!
Here is a girl, who is as much
educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because ... |
7 |
92 |
18 |
3.53 |
7/31/2007 8:03 am |
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Men!!
1. Men are like ..Laxatives
..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like...Bananas The
older they get, the ... |
13 |
101 |
54 |
1.84 |
7/28/2007 9:25 pm |
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The clue to a great marriage
To All Married Couples and Singles
Who Intend To Get Married -
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held
her hand and said, I've got something to ... |
7 |
72 |
6 |
4.79 |
7/27/2007 6:57 pm |
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Classes for men - are you enrolling?
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
(Males)
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY AUGUST 5, 2007, COURSES CAN BE CONDUCTED AT ANY CITY IN THE WORLD.
NOTE: DUE TO THE ... |
4 |
67 |
2 |
3.81 |
7/27/2007 6:50 pm |
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The day God goofed up!
A middle aged woman had a heart
attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God ... |
4 |
65 |
9 |
3.85 |
7/26/2007 6:28 pm |
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Mathematics of life
A professor of mathematics sent
a fax to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years
old and I have certain needs which you are no longer ... |
1 |
27 |
4 |
3.25 |
7/26/2007 6:23 pm |
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Friends
People come into your life, for
a REASON, SEASON or for a LIFETIME. When you know which one
it is, you will know what to do with that person.....!!
When someone is in ... |
2 |
31 |
3 |
3.92 |
7/25/2007 6:52 pm |
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Wine or Beer?
There is a dangerous virus being
passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer
(WORK). If you receive ... |
2 |
17 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/25/2007 6:50 pm |
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Taking revenge!!
A fifteen year-old boy came home
with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,
"Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today." ... |
3 |
117 |
12 |
3.51 |
7/15/2007 5:17 am |
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Limited!
When Joe, a nice man married for over 50
years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated.
A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven,
Myrtle anxiously looked for ... |
0 |
32 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/14/2007 9:37 am |
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Its so cold!!
One morning at a doctors surgery
a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The
doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened
to your back?"
... |
1 |
50 |
5 |
2.82 |
7/14/2007 8:59 am |
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Coffee time
COFFEE CUPS
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers,
got together to visit their old university professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints ... |
1 |
25 |
2 |
4.50 |
7/6/2007 6:54 pm |
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Bath tub
During a visit to the mental asylum,
a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which
defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
... |
1 |
29 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/4/2007 8:44 am |
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Are you brave enuff like Jeff?
Jeff and Paula are getting ready
for bed.
Paula is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking
a long, hard look at herself.
"You know, Jeff, " she ... |
2 |
37 |
2 |
1.04 |
6/27/2007 8:12 am |
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Aspirin!!
A man with a winking problem is
applying for a position as a sales representative for a
large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This
is phenomenal. Youve ... |
10 |
197 |
12 |
5.80 |
6/26/2007 8:43 am |
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Living Will
Last night, my wife and
I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids ... |
5 |
127 |
4 |
2.86 |
6/21/2007 8:05 am |
